my blog. my words. my craft. my texture. my shoes. my weight. my story. your song.

Where are you?

2009-04-11T00:15:00.009+10:00

http://www.flickr.com/photos/kamoteus/2629498469/

At times
you have my back
you back me up
as if i will have no worries at the backyard
but only courage to move forward

At times
you are at my side
you side me
for whatever i do
justifying rightfulness regardless how stupid it is

At times
you are surrounding me
you stalk me
as if i am a candy
and you are a spoiled little girl

At times
you are in front
i have your back
as if i need to push a little bit
before you fly off to the sky like a timid angel

Some night i woke up in tears from nightmare
wondering where the hell are you
you smile to me
touching my hair gently
kissing my forehead softly
and tell me
that
you are everywhere

Damn
you are stalking me

But no worries
you are no where better
because i am with you
all the time

-Kai-

Earth Hour and beyond

2009-04-04T23:04:00.012+11:00

At the night of Earth Hour
light was switched off
the darkness descended
she was dressing up that night

though her name is darkness
and she has been always invisible
but at that very special night
she dressed up so elegantly
or people did for her
regardless
people were witnessing her charm
she stood out
in front of everyone
in the heat of celebration

but

this is actually more than meeting the eyes

*At the night, people turned off the light for an hour. They celebrate it with many ideas. Some drove to mountain to see the night city skyline morphing from luminosity to dullness. Maybe petrol was used more than needed. CO2 was emitted more than usual. And within the hour, the electricity generating factories were still running non-stop. Carbon emission was still enormous. Whatever. Earth Hour is actually not only about switching off light. It is about energy saving, water saving etc. From individual micro scale accumulating up to macro generality. Use less. Reduce demand. Thus stop expanding power generation plants. Reduce our environmental footprint. *

Celebration of the day
with no doubt
became the fastest way to promote the idea
to call for awareness
darkness became a celebrity all of a sudden
people got together for the celebration
some forgot the pure intention
some got to do something even more energy wasting

Earth Hour
a campaign was supposed to evoke sense of responsibility and awareness
how we should keep energy saving on the right track
to the very effort we can do
for the sake of our future
our kids' future

energy saving
is the essence to be listed in to-do for everyday life

sustainable living
is the way to go
and
all these
should be done as a routine with fun

celebrating Earth Hour with fun is a good thing
not forgetting what we should be doing everyday

having fun while doing good
is the ideal
without compromising too much of daily lifestyle awfully

and hopefully sooner
Earth Hour does not need to be celebrated in extravagant ways
if everyone celebrate by saving energy everyday

it will just need to be a remembrance in the future

^__^

60

2009-03-28T18:43:00.009+11:00

http://www.flickr.com/photos/earthhour_global/3386185889/
1 hour, without light on, makes us feel the importance of electricity.
60 minutes, without electricity, amaze us how our ancestors have had their nights, at places where unpleasant weather lands.

Clean up the mess that we produce,

Global Warming.
Reduce our carbon emission footprint, to save a little more for our earth, and our coming kids.

p/s: Quit smoking too, people.

Ticket

2009-03-15T13:26:00.004+11:00

When the recession smell is a little overwhelming..
When the office air is a little too tense..
When the global warming makes you staying at home..
When the government doesnt issue you a visa..
When you are missing your lover beilliie muchiie..
When you don't know what to do...

maybe, just take your ticket... and enjoy the show...

sometimes.. not all the time..

##
I'm just a little bit
caught in the middle
Life is a maze
and love is a riddle
I don't know where to go
I can't do it alone
(I've tried)
and I don't know why

Slow it down
make it stop
or else my heart is going to pop
'cuz it's too much
Yeah, it's a lot
to be something I'm not

I'm a fool
out of love
'cuz I just can't get enough

I'm just a little bit
caught in the middle
Life is a maze
and love is a riddle
I don't know where to go
I can't do it alone
(I've tried)
and I don't know why

I am just a little girl
lost in the moment
I'm so scared
but don't show it
I can't figure it out
it's bringing me down
I know
I've got to let it go
and just enjoy the show

The sun is hot
in the sky
just like a giant spotlight
The people follow the sign
and synchronize in time
It's a joke
Nobody knows
they've got a ticket to that show
Yeah
##
The Show- Lenka

A very cute song
with a cute tone
a cute mood, facing what you dont know how to deal with
a cute picture illustrated from the cute lyric
from a cute heart

Things appear cute and decent when your heart is taking it cutely, i believe.

Inspiration

2009-03-15T00:43:00.004+11:00

I want to love you smartly, thus i am granted wisdom.
I want to kiss you gently, thus i nurture decency.
I don't want to think, but to hug you, thus i am impulsed by pureness.
I live in you, like how you live in me, thus i feel my soul.

I am inspired by you, there comes the creativity, and thus it is happening. So happening.

p/s: Happy 15.03.09

http://www.flickr.com/photos/chasingtwilight/372425816/

白

2009-03-05T22:45:00.001+11:00

(http://www.flickr.com/photos/h-k-d/3101206010/)

说到白，这种颜色有一种力量。

而我感觉，伊身上散发的多种色彩里，白色居多。像象征和平白鸽的白。像天使的白。因为伊像个天使。话说，一天伊顽皮，飞到人间，吃到了人间烟火。伊消化不良，结果飞着飞着的时候，从空中掉了下来。犹记得那一天，我举起双手，等待夏日的漫天飘雪。当然，夏天下雪是不可能的。结果，双手抓不到雪，却让伊这胖天使掉在我怀里。现在回想，那一天，天空没有下雪的白。当时眼前却有迷漫的白，天空像满满飘落着，天使翅膀的白色羽毛。这种白色，有一种力量。让人窒息，却感觉不到重量。反是轻飘飘的。

Overlap_ by Audrey Kawasaki

最近有一天，我的同事突然对我说，我长了一根白发。我照了镜子。确实，我长了一根白发。或许，近来压力大。或许，我开始老了。这种白色，有足够的力量，让人停一停脚步。停顿一会儿，想一想，怎么了，最近怎么了。想一想，日子过得好吗？开心吗？劳累吗？也会，想一想，是年龄，还是智慧，还是责任，增加了？想一想，爸妈发丛中的白色也越来越多了。想一想，将来的日子，伊会否帮我暴力拔白发，到后来无可奈何大自然的定律，顺其自然一起白头到老。伊说过，一起变老，是最浪漫的事。对，那种变白的过程，有一种说不出的力量。温柔。醇厚。今天看见一对白发苍苍的老夫妇手牵手慢步，我走路的步伐也放慢了下来。为世间有爱而感动。

(http://www.flickr.com/photos/harogi/1215632154/)

黄昏，是一日里天空大地色彩最丰富的时候。而白，是所有颜色的集合产物。

关于死

2009-02-21T02:20:00.000+11:00

关于死

总有一种禁忌，保持着一种距离，不看太多，不想太多。
想是，人开始长大。肩担渐增。才开始会稍微想一想。因为，不想做个不负责任的人。
人开始老了，或许才会事先考虑清楚，更或许一些会事先办理准备。
而我，还只是在想一想的阶段。

如果死，我会希望我对亲爱的家人朋友有所交代。
最亲的人，不想他们伤心太久，要快快收拾好心情，过充实的日子，寻找人生更多的精彩。因为，我觉得世界还有太多太多神奇奥妙精彩处，我没法发觉体会，会希望至亲的人会能体会到。而我在他们的脑海记忆里，他们的心里，一起感受到。我们并不孤独。

如果死，我有点希望我死的当天或第二天就下葬。华人有死后至少三天才有葬礼的习俗，我没有深入了解。因为始终保持着一种距离。我想，那是因为华人孝顺尊重长辈，对死者还依依不舍，还想瞻仰。像是，真正‘临走’（到投胎或九泉之下之类的地方）前，与家人亲友在作最后相聚。对我来说，那是一种很深的悲伤。我或许承受不了。

所以，活在当下。要活得精彩，要珍惜彼此。死后，你我他都没有遗憾。彼此祝福在不同的道路上，一路走好。

如果死，我希望越早下葬越好。因为，我曾经梦见，我在梦里死了，灵魂出魄壳，看到家人在我身躯边伤心哭泣。我也伤心地跟着哭泣，梦醒时发现我枕头尽是自己的眼泪所湿。一位犹太朋友说过，他相信人死后，要尽快下葬，好让灵魂Spirit到神圣的某处，一种解脱。他说，亲友如此做法，其实是对死者的尊敬爱护。因为，如果死者没有及早下葬，其灵魂会在灰色地带徘徊，找不着其定位身份。有一定的道理和感动。华人的传统相信有多少不同。

其实，有点怕怕的我，加上完美主义的我，也不太希望，死后的我，还会让太多人见到。想让大家记得的，是生前真实的我，欢笑的我。人死后，留下了皮囊，还留下了什么。真正的他，对于亲爱的家人戚友，其实本应留在脑海，活在心里。

真正的精神，是永存的，是一起的，是不死的。或者说，根本就没死与生。

就在当下，加油，精彩过一分一秒！*笑*

Absence

2009-02-21T01:18:00.000+11:00

"Absence sharpens love
Presence strengthen it" -- David Baird

I am aware that so-called long distance relationship is a hard management.
And there will be more and more unforeseen challenges come against us though we are ready for them as we thought we really are.
But it will be fine going through the journey, as i know i am not alone, and i have belief to hold on, not only by myself. The tie appears stronger.

Absence will actually sharpen my sense, to take note of details ... how to love more beyond the seas and continental border, how to balance not to love my girl too much but not any less for myself as well, how to miss my girl not too heavily but not too lightly, ... All these details help to shape our relationship better, and our own 'single' life better. Love, could be something of anything, consisting of all sweetness, junk, and nuisances. It is about giving away. It needs art of balance.
Here, being apart physically, or Absent, helps to sharpen our love.

And then, when we meet up again, we hug so tightly. We feel the strength. Our bond is strengthened.

一起感受

2009-02-11T20:26:00.000+11:00

伊可知道当我昨晚收到越洋祝福的时候

夜空是呈紫蓝
看来似乎像是伊喜欢的颜色
将来的画
请记得尽情地
挥撒伊喜欢的颜色
我们的那幅画
会是灿烂的
家里所以温暖

月亮是很圆很大
我们喜欢的浪漫
却从来没有一起看过
我却知道
将来我们会一起看
年轻的时候
躺在草原上看
年迈的时候
在家的后院看

空中飘着微细的雨
伊喜欢的天气
渺渺的雨
像温柔的纱衣
看着看着
更加肯定
伊是迷路的天使
放心
一路上
我会带伊一起一步步地走
轻快地舞

伊的祝福
我真的收到了
因为我这里看到的天空竟然是
伊喜欢的天空
因伊而美丽的天空
一起飞翔
那风
那空气
那景色
我们一起感受到

我打短短的电话联系
说些生活的琐碎
我看到日偏食
我想相隔两地看到的会不一样
我想让伊看见我所看见的
我所以拍了下来
看到一朵白云
我喜欢
想伊也爱白云
所以又拍了下来
我在城里慢步
电车经过发出声音
我也想让伊听到
所以拨电

恋爱
原是无聊的
但是
那无聊可以一起感受
是幸福的
所以感恩

谢谢伊
赐我天使的吻

Together

2009-01-29T03:29:00.000+11:00

A relationship is not only about romance.
I know i am on the early romance fringe of a relationship, tasting the sweetness for everything.
Dear, you and i. We, feel so sweet, we feel so hot, we feel so sticky...
But sooner or later you may (or may not, if i could hope so ^_^'') find my words are no longer as sweet, my acts are no longer as romantic..
I know we both will eventually come to a stage where we find the hotness being cold down inevitably, and we start to taste sourness, bitterness, etc.

Nevertheless, i believe we would like to go through all these bit by bit, step by step, side by side, together. Only going through both the good ones and the bad ones, we endure and develop a true relationship that will build us a home. As you have quoted the words of Master ShengYen "Both favourable and unfavourable conditions strengthen us; treat them with equanimity and gratitude." Of course, i believe it. Just like you are a pig, but also an angel. ^0^

Early Romance may always end so transiently like the twilight or the sunset. ^.^''
A relationship also means commitment and care.
A lasting commitment will bring us further to see the beauty of the ugliness. After early romance, we see our problems, we see our weaknesses, and we will be ... Facing it, accepting it, dealing with it, solving it, and loving it. And from within, onwards, we will start to enjoy a more complete form of love, spirit, hotness... and another level kind of romance.
Later then, we may find something totally different, that we have never come across, but so lovely to have braved ourselves to that and be doing that together.
We will find it out, together. ^_^

It is all about words here, for now. But it will be a journey that is so worth we brave ourselves to explore, to feel the joy, the sadness, the sorrow, the excitement, the happiness...
Such a belief will make us move.
And i know i am holding your hand. I am feeling your hand in my hand. ^___^
So, let's move on.

p/s: i love you, my dear.

两小无猜

2009-01-24T00:47:00.000+11:00

昨晚看医生。在诊所，等待的时候，看到一对马来友族的小兄妹在嬉戏。不像许多哥哥会玩比较粗鲁暴力的男子气游戏。也让我想起我对妹妹似乎真的不够好，难怪zomo他们不叫我一声‘哥’。哦。。。是了是了，一定是了。汗。。
话说。。。

小哥哥吃力地抱起小妹妹，小小男生似乎觉得抱得起妹妹是莫大的勇气，无穷的力量，帅气的男人。抱了起来，开心地跑。被捧在怀里的妹妹，也呵呵地笑了起来。抱得累了，哥哥放下妹妹。大手捉小手，两人一起开心地跑。跑累了，哥哥的手放在妹妹的肩膀上，妹妹的手放在哥哥的腰上，慢慢地走，依旧呵呵地笑，说着一些我不是很听得懂的孩子气语言。他们俩的一举一动，仿佛像小小的情侣。洋溢的，是纯纯的喜悦。我想起了伊。

走着走着，哥哥的力气恢复了。妹妹笑闹着要抱抱。哥哥又再抱起妹妹，脸上显出微微的骄傲和喜悦，然后奔跑。妹妹轻爽的呵笑声，冲淡了诊所的忧虑气氛，溶化了病容。抱着，跑着，累着，放下。那兄妹重复了好几回同样的把戏。完全没有厌倦。最后，小兄妹都玩得累了。抱着妹妹的哥哥，连人一起跌坐在地上。我有点担心地想趋前。只见，那小兄妹坐在地上，哈哈大笑。我心里笑了起来。我又想起了伊。

是的。喜悦，是自然的，是纯真的，是不会厌倦的。我希望，我和伊，一起欢笑，一起掉泪，一起面对，一起了解，一起拥抱，一起手牵手，一起走我们这非一般的路。

来来。。给我一个高‘5’！！

锁

2009-01-10T21:13:00.000+11:00

(src= http://www.flickr.com/photos/jeffrinehart/2041277589/)

我弟发了脾气，我难过了。我爸难过了，我心疼了。妈病了，爸照顾妈。妈病好了，爸照顾弟。我的心被揪得紧紧。
沮丧的时候，我想起了伊。我所以振作起来。

因为伊，我发现了自己，丢掉了自己，让自己重生了。因为伊，我坚强了。

我弟却迷失了自己。

我对他说

你可还记得你以前种种优越的个性，你可还记得你比我勇敢，我比你懦弱。我现在坚强了，你不是应该更坚强吗？
所以，现在你要勇敢面对它，勇敢面对自己。

我相信，凡事，每个人，的好坏，都有。如果可以尽数，是相对平衡的。
我没对你说，人，性本善。我却对你说，好坏充斥，取舍在于一线间，一念之差。当信念持正的时候，人，自然因好而笑。坏，自然因无法作祟而隐去。我们因为坏而认识好，发掘好，珍惜好，发挥好。好坏共存，只要能坦然对待，雨后彩虹后，你会因为好，而对坏感恩。

而你，因为病了，恶魔将坏放大。你忘了自己的好。

所以，你要将自己闭关的锁，给开了。

让你自己，给自己一个机会，找回自己。给大家一个机会，伸出援助。
我伸出的手，不感觉疼酸，只要你会紧紧握住。我会跟你走这大便一般的路。
你将来便会觉得，真正的大便，不过如此。

(src= http://www.flickr.com/photos/nap72/133416988/)

先将自己丢掉

2009-01-08T19:47:00.000+11:00

看着伊的文字，我从心底笑了出来。
散发着一种自由的气质。
突然发现，伊，有信念，有想法；没有格局，没有形式。
我感觉到伊的心，让人很容易亲近感觉到伊的心。
伊善良，让我看见了伊舒暖宽阔的心境。
伊是如此美丽。

我看着一面镜子。
我，也有信念，有坚持，还有形式。原来，我自己有个框框。
我自己太有一套。

嗯，看来，我得先将自己丢掉。彻底那种。丢掉所有珈琐。
然后放开。
让那自由的心，油然而生。
因为我也想变帅。笑。

重生后，对伊笑着说：
妳有妳的信念
我有我的坚持
这交汇时互放的光彩
没有硝味
因为彼此坚信的
同是自然的感受
坦诚的交流

爱

What is with the Architect?

2009-01-08T01:22:00.000+11:00

(src = http://www.flickr.com/photos/nolifebeforecoffee/124659356/)

Generally, when you hang out with someone who is an architect, do not feel weird that he is always busy looking around. He looks downward into the drainage strips; he looks upward to the ceiling. He uses stupid alien language like authenticity, mezzanine, louvre screen, HVAC [Heating Ventilation and Air Conditioning system], etc. He looks at details, materials, people, buildings, streets, urban corners… totally random they may be. But he may be looking at how people and things proportioning, standing, structuring, connecting, occupying, complimenting, contrasting and intervening each other.

And then, he could just sigh simply for the ridicule failure or the mythical astonishment of how things join, how brilliant talents of some designers endowed, and how shallow himself is. Basically, his eyes are just too keen.

And also, he insists to let something of the background in or out from the photos taken by his camera. He tries to make sure the background and foreground figures fit well into the frame. He tries to capture emotions and light. But he is as not professional as photographer. He is just happy doing that. At times, he is lazy or just snap shots on you with free styles. Because you are good enough to be in his pictures.

And so, you do not need to feel awkward, when he pauses and looks at you. Sometimes he is just too tired after busy looking around. He looks into you. He needs some rest. To rest, is to gain more and to walk further.

At times, he may be just absent minded. He could be brainstorming the ideas that flash through his mind, or just imagining things like how to make a paper stands. At times, his mind could be just as messy as his working desk. At times, he may be suddenly clear, just like his favor tracing papers that he uses topping layers of drawing complexities.

What is with the architect?
He has preference of taste. He insists, he sculpts, he does not care the rest.
He has his passion for life. He sees, he loves, he constructs.
When he feels the love to build his family, he promises to try his best to house his loved ones.
Because he believes "it is the duty of every man to raise the character and tone of his own home... to the highest point his capabilities permit." - Frank Lloyd Wright 1894.
And he knows this is not limited to physicality.

What is with the architect?
He never thinks he can be a thorough architect. Because he thinks architecture is about life. And he could never learn enough thoroughly from life. There is too much to learn from life. He is still far from an architect.
He is not an architect.

(src= http://www.flickr.com/photos/digianalogue/98555410/)

心中一朵花

2009-01-06T01:55:00.000+11:00

伊说
事情的发生，总有其美好的一面。

是的
凡事都有好坏。

在于我们怎么看了。

丑陋的东西在人的眼中太显眼，被提及，被扩大，被恶化，甚至被依赖，因为可以推卸事态。
美好的东西却很难被发现，更难被珍惜。就像真正的花，开在山野烂漫处。
心，向美。心中开出一朵花，在心房的绿地上，蓝天白云下。
心，放大。舞台变得很大。不只是自己，人人在欢舞。

Hairstyle 髪

2009-01-05T00:09:00.000+11:00

最近有人问了我一个挺有趣的问题。我喜欢女生长发，还是短发？
如果有看平面漫画的人，应该可以发觉，漫画里角色的发型都是不变的。现实中，人可是会变的。
我想了想，还是做点功夫。[点击小图看大图] 先用孙燕姿的造型图看看极短的发型。从我认为极限的长度说起。很有个性吧。

接下来，我选择了韩女星---李妍喜。比我年轻，却可以百变。她丰富的造型可塑性展示了长短发都有其美，能撑起不同的场面。

回想起来，以前喜欢或欣赏的女生，似乎都是短发的。可爱。活泼。所以，我喜欢的，应该是短发。再想一想，以前中学时期女生都不能留长发嘛。所以这么说似乎不对。现在觉得，短发会将一些人的五官衬托地更特出。看起来变得很有性格。

中学生涯结束后，许多女生似乎都留了长发。许多人变了很多，变美了，有韵味了。温柔。优雅。所以，我喜欢的，应该是长发。。。也不对。因为也有些人其实让长发给掩去了原来脸部好看的特征而不知觉。或让自己为了保留长发，而失去了尝试，为自己设了一个框。

而做这功课的同时，我突然发现，我很爱女生绑发。不同的绑法造型增添了可塑性，让女生呈现更百变的美。爱美，原是女生天赋的权利。我喜欢女生绑发。。或许是因为自己的审美及偏好。因为绑发，露出女生的耳垂。所以如果我有另一半，或许是很自然地。。。我会想轻言密语。轻轻地吻。远看像是咬耳吧。因为绑发，有时露出女生的后颈。我会想从后环抱，轻轻地亲。

电影《功夫》里黄圣依造型虽然留着长发，许多幕都显示她将发丝梳理在耳后。试比一比，原来[左]与加工后[右]的剧照。个人还是喜欢露耳垂的。

哪。。我是喜欢绑发啦？因为可以让我亲亲嘛？想一想，又好象不全对。因为如果没绑发，轻佻的风如果拨乱了她的头发，我会很自然地想帮她理一理秀发。我喜欢这样的举动。因为那一刻的她，是会有让人窒息的美。将她的头发摆弄好，还是会亲下去。

李妍喜多种造型我都看得赏心悦目。因为我喜欢她。
所以，绑发与不，长发与不，伊人依然，美。
原来，只要我喜欢伊，伊人就是美。伊真的很美嘛。
所以我要深呼吸。因为美会很窒息。

嗯。。嗯。。所以，长短发应该是非常个人的决定，表现自己的品味。发型更可以代表个人的性格。而，不同的尝试变化，也能带出新鲜感。我有时喜欢人家给我雪前一亮的新鲜感。或许因为生活很多时候是周而复始。而尝试的过程中，我们发觉原来有些东西并不适合自己。但因为尝试，我们其实在找寻，所以发现。

发现自己。

[Coincidentally, Shravasti Dhammika has posted a blog regarding Hair lately. Something very different to mine, but i believe there is a little similarity as reflection-- it's not about the hair but the persons.]

2008回首

2008-12-31T01:54:00.000+11:00

2009新年将即。许多人正准备如何如何庆祝跨年。而没有跟朋友度过的我会在这小小的镇乡自己含蓄倒数。我记得回乡前跟一位同事闲聊跨年的事，他轻松地说了一句话：“It's time to think what you have done for this year.”

简单却不易答。令人醒思。这是很好让自己横冲直撞后停一停脚步，想一想的时间。

庆新年之前，回想这一年。到底我做了什么。

这一年里，我遇见了不少人。努力的人。善良的人。开朗的人。热诚的人。豁达的人。拼命的人。现在想来，他们都是用心活好日子的人。让我自觉，自己做得还不够，所以还要加把劲。感激大家踏入我的圈子。让慧根本来就缺欠的我，因为你们而见识了，长智慧了。谢谢。

对不起。我也做错过事。对不起，我待人处事方面做不好。所以我要变得更好。让我曾经无意伤害的人知道我改善了。我紧记教诲。人生的教诲。

还有，也不忘要对今年没有见面却让我想起的人问候一声，你好吗？

众里寻他千百度，蓦然回首，那人却在灯火阑珊之处
雾里探花百折转，蓦然回首，芬香即在脸颊芳吻之上

因为回首，所以才发现，岁月留痕来往不意间。
也所以惊觉，年轻的心，不能老。要keep咯！
夜晚了，我静悄悄地，在伊的脸上吻了。
晚安。

Is there a Santa Claus?

2008-12-30T02:49:00.000+11:00

"Yes, there is. He is always in your heart."

If you question is there a Santa Claus, you can read the answer below:
English source: http://www.newseum.org/yesvirginia/
Chinese translation: http://blog.sina.com.cn/s/blog_3ca594d8010000u1.html

It is good to share.
Thanks Boey.

睡梦缘分

2008-12-29T16:26:00.000+11:00

我这人爱睡。可以的话，每天希望可以睡上9小时。现在假期的我，更可以‘为所欲为’。但也不爱睡到第二天下午，因为我觉得那太浪费时间了。并不是要更多的时间赚钱还是什么，而是觉得可以用那些时间做些有的没的。觉得灵感会偶尔突然来敲门。我不想伊敲门的时候，我在睡觉。而我在外独居的时候，还要做些闲杂家务。所以昏睡并不是我最爱的。

但我爱睡。因为可以很自由。做梦也很自由。某程度上，我爱自由。除了偏爱右侧入睡，就没有什么法则了。睡着后，自由地踢自由地翻最好。所以，我睡觉不穿内裤。穿越少越好越薄越好越自由越好。男生还是通风的好。夏天的话，就没甚问题。冬天的话，依然，只要躲进棉被就很爽。睡觉就是我最任性的时候。因为梦也可以任性到一个程度。

这两日来，在零约束下，做了奇怪的梦。梦见了同一个女生。我善忘，却不想忘记相遇的点点滴滴。如果我忘了，还希望她会在梦里提醒我。前晚，她出现得亲近，想她是关心郁闷的我。我觉得耳根有点热。昨晚，又遇见了，心情激昂的我，叫了她的名字。叫得有点尴尬有点青涩。。才想起，我似乎常遇见，却还没遇见这熟悉的女生。

我才发现，原来缘分才是最任性的。

A-L

2008-12-29T02:27:00.001+11:00

Answer
i am not looking for an answer, i just want to take Action. i am on the move.

Beauty
i love seeing beauty. who doesn't. but i think the most beautiful grows from inside-out. it is sacred.

Calm
i like you staying calm in my arms. i would think i have a babe. and i would say to you.. babe, i love you.

Doubt
i doubt am i sinful to look at Beauty.

Elegance
i have never learned the true Elegance. it is not for me to say because it shines.

Friends
a word that is so close and so far for me. as i have been needing friends. as i have so much yet to learn to be a good friend for my friends.

God
god, and good, are just an 'o' difference. for some, believing in god makes them feel good. for some, having such belief makes them good.

Hump
we slow the cars down when we are near to humps. i like wednesday as it is called the hump day. the toughest was over and the weekend is near.

Intimacy
it is really good to feel that. and you will not be alone in this strangers world. the spirits dance together. the beings hug together.
in.ti.ma.cy. into me (you) see.
and i look at you. we smile.

Juice
it is something childish. kids like fruit juices.
it is something youthful. it feels fresh.
it is something sexy. look at her lips, it is juicy.
it simply signifies life and energy.

Knock
i knock the door. because i feel the urge to learn more knowledge. that is why i need a key.
i knock your door. because i want to live in your heart. that is why i want to see you smile at me.
i knock knock knock.. because i want to remind you.

Love
it consumes itself; and it generates.
it was bound to the moment of its emergence.
it was freed to the moment it is understood.
it is exclusive and inclusive.
do you feel my love?

M-Z

2008-12-29T02:05:00.000+11:00

Mute
it must be so odd if you can turn the environment 'mute' of sound when you are in a dancing club. you start reading the lips, comprehending the body gesture, hearing the sound of silence, and witnessing the flow of time.

Nature
is there any authentic nature nowadays? if there is, it should be somewhere deep in our heart.

Odour
i like fragrance. of natural or artificial, as long as it meets the taste. it is sensational. when a boy tell a girl that she smells nice, there is chemistry.

Paper
it is thin. it is the medium to carry my words. and my words carry my feels. but i hate 'paper-cut'. the wound is so thin that you don't really notice, and you feel the pain only until you are done with a task. something tiny does hurt.

Question
i am curious; therefore i ask question. there could be questions for everything. but there are things with no answer, just like sometimes we don't need an answer to fall in love.

Redo
there is actually no such thing, for humans. that is why it has been created as a command in the virtual world of computers. "yesterday is history; today is a gift; tomorrow is a mystery" comes loud as a reminder.

Soul
i am someone who shares the inner easily. but a perfectionist like me is highly selective to share my soul with.

Tense
i pour the whole heart when i love something. and before it is flooded, the air is so stiff so stiff; the clouds are so tense so tense. but i know tension could be lovely.

UV
how smart is it to put these 2 alphabets together. we love sunshine, but we dislike UV. i see her putting on SPF30+ face lotion.

Wounds
we are all vulnerable, because we are subject to wounds. thank you for putting a band-aid so softly on my wound.

X-ray
it is a huge medical contribution. transparency, balances up the efficiency of works. but sometimes beauty lies in the mist of vagueness.

Yawn
you do it; and i will follow you. ops, sorry, i don't mean you are boring, i just reflect the season of lazing around. boss, i am in holiday. mates, follow me, open up wide your arms, stretch your body, and yawn.

Zone
there is no law in gray zone, but uncertainties. i take the sword of bravery, attempting to cross the zone. sometimes, trespassing is granted.

The Late Compliments

2008-12-22T01:35:00.000+11:00

Van Gogh_ The Starry Night

A conversation has led me to think of the compliments that come late.

Van Gogh
A Post-impressionism artist that i like very much. I may not know him and his works very well. But i truly like his paintings, especially The Starry Night. His paintings has a very delicate kind of emotion nourishing the atmosphere even on the side of the viewers. I say, he paints beyond his paper. I personally think he is a romantic artist. Not only they are just simply petrifying for me to look at, his works draw the wings of imagination on me. I know i fly to the moment in his paintings. I admire him. If there is a chance for me to see his exhibition, i would love to go for it. If there is an event bringing the effort to collect his works together for exhibition station by station globally, i would like to contribute with even the slightest possible effort.
He died at the age of 37, due to depression.

Heath Ledger
An impressive actor that i think he has done well for the roles he took. I am not his super fans. Nor have i watched all the movies he had taken part in. But he definitely has done extremely well for the character of Joker in the movie-- The Dark Knight. Weeks ago, there were still controversial debates that, on behalf of him, who is qualified to receive the Prize from 2008 Academy Award and Golden Globe Awards. It is respectful how he has deeply dissolved into a role and from within he created a character that stands out.
He died at the age of 28, due to medication abuse, that many believed depression was the main cause.

The compliments to the above mentioned are late.
Gogh's paintings have got famous after his death. Ledger's movies have gained breaking records after his death too. Both of their talents and contributions have been largely recognized and acknowledged. Having said that.. they wouldn't know.
The late compliments thus become very sentimental.

Shall we pay our salute.
And, shall we look into the issue of depression, more closely, and more concernedly.

It seems like geniuses tend to have depression more likely, though i hope this is just a coincidence. Besides, i have family members who are suffering depression and i know the pain to some extents. It drives people to nuts of how helpless it could be at times. My aunt used to tell me to be living more happily, taking less priority on achievements. She was worried i tend to be using too much brain and also following steps into depression. Now, i would like to stand with people around, and live a good life. I have met someone that embraces so much positiveness so spontaneously. I am encouraged. We all should know, the more positive you stay, the more positive the people around will be influenced by you. Happiness is highly contagious, so is melancholy. You are to decide which side of hand you are lending to. And, be grateful to have friends and family who cheer you up, who concern about you. Life is great!

p/s: i love you.

心动

2008-12-21T00:28:00.000+11:00

“我做错过许多事，也欠过许多人，但有一个人是我素昧平生的。那只是偶然的相遇，甚至没有眼神的交集，我却觉得欠他，至今忘不了。”-- 刘墉

我看了这一句，呆了。好象探讨了近来一直徘徊在我心里的想法。我想，缘分的邂逅是奥妙的。相遇，是珍贵的。有缘千里来相聚，无缘对面不相识。向左，向右，看。我，如果在人海中，遇见了。偶然相遇，所以相识。或许的偶然变成或许的唯一，就会想把握。向前，看。我会想握紧缘分，一起向前走。我不想错过。一次，不想错过。更不会有‘第二次，可能还会再来’的念头了。如果这一次对了，我想捉住她的手。

握住她的手，那会是一种承诺。那一刹那前，我会想，我自己好吗？我希望自己好，所以可以好好地待我心爱的人。我知道无法完美，但希望尽可能不再带来伤害。我做错过许多事，也欠过许多人。

我这人太跟感觉走。言行举止不免因此常让人觉得不可思议，或因轻举妄动而显轻浮。也因此留下了许多把柄。有剑刃插在胸口的把柄。有时人家无意不小心牵动了把柄，我独自痛了。成长，我还是不太小心翼翼。因为，不想顾虑着后面的步法，而扰乱了现在想垮出的步伐。

我知道，我充满破绽。我知道，我是任性。可还是不想因，为了预测将来而扭曲了我最初的冲动，原始的感动。我。。想哭就哭。想爱就爱。如果不理智是错的。。哪我继续错下去。。感觉对了，我就出发。。

我会想她的笑话而睡前噗呲一笑。我会想她的回眸一笑而傻笑。我会将路人看错成是她。我觉得这种错，有一种力量。

错，还有一种力量。觉得自己摊在迷漫的零引力空间，却在旋转着。好象不会掉在地上。。。

我不想妳告诉我这是错的。只想请妳，让我握紧妳的手，如果我在人海中找到了妳。也想请妳，牵紧我的手，好让我不到处乱走。请牵紧了，让我们一起走。走着走着。。如果我看到妳眼角挂着泪珠，脸颊上泛着泪光，请让我帮妳拭去眼泪。我希望妳哭着还笑。

错下去，我们一起掉泪，一起欢笑，一起成长。
准备好将妳的手递放在我的掌心上？

雨后彩虹

2008-12-13T14:09:00.000+11:00

这场雨。还在下。从昨天上午下到了今天下午。

让我回想了一些往事。雨。水从天而降下。有时绵密。有时松散。有时轻。有时重。所以有时觉得。雨水像是回忆。有时不能预测。不能避免。也不能控制。

回忆。是承载过去的时间。酒精。与其说是醉人其实是人自醉。沉醉于回忆。所以教育常说。过量酒精不好。我成长了。所以也慢慢学习了。时间。像是酒精。打针前敷在了皮肤上。冰凉凉的。其实酒精暴露在空气中蒸散了。不因你的留恋而停留。不因地心引力而不向上蒸发。不知不觉。像一个不留神。时间溜走了。针刺进了肤肉。才有了感觉。

雨还在下。雨水打在屋顶。再滴在树叶。再掉到土地上。渗进去。进去。我想起了数年前的一个雨天。

我觉得那天。那个雨天。为我笨笨的初恋。她正式画上休止符。那个傍晚下雨。我和她约好了看电影。那天就像朋友相约看电影那样。但我当时心底里还爱着她。雨很大。我下车撑伞去接她。上车后彼此轻拍去身上的雨水。说些有的没的。她面向着我。忙着理理衣服。我向她趋前。伸手到她身后。治安不太好所以帮她将车门锁的钮按下。她微微地向后缩。那晚我们看了电影。

几天后。我拿了一枝花放在身后去见她。以前送她一束花。她欢喜感动。那天见到了她。她脸色有点异样。我想让她开心些。我拿出了花。她没接收。告诉我。彼此不好再这样下去了。我不好像那个看电影的雨天般待她。她觉得彼此没有在谈恋爱而我依旧对她细心体贴。那是对我的不公平。她说彼此不好再相见。我觉得她伤感却坚定的眼神撑起了她柔弱的身子。而虚弱不舍的我回头走了。将那枝花放在草地上。那晚。处女座的她看起来长高了。巨蟹座的我很莫名伤心。

后来。我知道。她那是善良的残忍。我想说。
“谢谢妳的善意。我有了后来的勇气。”

我知道。曾经爱过。而我没有爱错那善良的女生。也因为她。我今天过得不错。以后也会好好的。因为。她应该知道。我希望她好。而我也知道。她希望我过得好。

我们还会见面啦。如果有机会啦。也会谈天的。虽然近年来很少联络。我知道。我们将来见面时。会很自然地谈笑。她会像以往一样又轻又密一直地说她身边她喜欢她快乐的事。我也会很开心地听着。笑着。

我想到她。就想笑。哈

笑

2008-12-11T00:07:00.000+11:00

你有没有体验过一种感觉。。。输了。。却很开心？那是一种很妙的感觉。当我筋疲力尽的时候，还将力气输在了笑，然后躺在床上开心地睡去。我知道我是微笑着进入梦想。那感觉很妙。

你有没有从繁密琐碎的生活细缝中看见过一种轻飘游间的感动？那是一种很优美的举动，微细的感动。今天电车上看见一位模特一般的女生。繁杂人群中，她静静地坐着，却像鹤立鸡群。很模特的身材。很模特的服装。很模特的脸孔。很模特的眼神。还有一种很有性格有点冰冷的感觉。到了另一站，更多乘客拥挤在电车上。人与人间留下断续的视缝。断续的片段还是看到模特女生。继续看着。除了她美。更因为是本身对表演舞台的人出现在日常中有着极罕见的视觉震撼。但多数人不像我，许多人在物色着某某或或腾空的位子。相对地，模特女生内旁还有一个位，放着她不大的包包。。一位带着小孩的妇女意示模特女生让出包包的位。她迟疑了一下。后拿起她的包包。显然易见的，那位子是脏的。可是她自己移坐到那个脏位上。让出原来坐的座位给妇女。妇女不好意思地让孩子坐了。模特女生微微地笑一笑。很快地进入她自身静默的状态。像是准备下一场表演要来了。像是偶尔轻敲的琴键，毫不扰动他的电话交谈，或她的阅报，或他们的扯闹，或他们的谈情说爱，或他们的神游四方，还有我不时的观察。琴声却悠悠地飘扬在缝隙间。那种感觉很温柔细致。

你有没有被小小的手掌握过你小小的尾指？那是一种很亲切纯洁无邪的触觉。相信很多人都喜欢那种感觉。电车上，一位坐在我身边的爸爸，抱着他的小孩。那孩子如果是男的，那也长得太美了。如果是女孩，那也长得很英气。反正就是可爱的小孩。蔚蓝清澈的眼神看着我。从爸爸的怀抱里，伸出小小右掌。好像要击掌为誓。那先生说小孩要跟我 Hi 5！我笑着轻轻地拍在他的手掌。小孩笑得很开心。接二连三跟我闹着 Hi 5。结果我们好象 Hi 25 了。小孩后来顽皮地挣脱了爸爸的怀抱，爬到我的身上。我轻轻将他抱起。问他叫什么名。好象听到他爸爸说是 Veno 还是 Wilo 尔尔的。不象是澳洲本地人。小孩笑呵呵地用小小的手掌握着我的尾指。我喜欢小孩这样握我的手指。他爸爸说他似乎很喜欢我。

我笑了。

(Pic Source: http://casacamisas.wordpress.com/2008/03/05/now-with-double-wrist-action/)

如果要爱

2008-12-07T21:03:00.000+11:00

##
如果要愛
我必須愛一個真實的人
意思是這個人有缺點有弱點
會欺騙會犯錯
會病痛會死掉

如果我愛了這個人
我只有整個人都愛

不是因為我昏昧
也不是因為我倔強

是因為
這是我唯一相信的
愛的方法

如果我只愛了這個人美好的部份
我心裡會知道
其實這次
我沒有真的愛
##
蔡康永-我要爱个真实的人

##
一辈子都要寻找驚艳的感觉
就算不让别人驚艳
也要让自己驚艳
就算外表不美
里面也美
。。。
##
刘墉-《爱要一生的驚艳》

我也记得
电影《Enchanted》里
童话故事并不匪意所思只要相信爱没有所谓童话与不童话

还记得
动画片《Kungfu Panda》里
Master Shifu just thought that panda Po was just not going to make it as a new kung fu hero
but the wise Oogway told him
you dont need to know how but to believe
And finally Po has got the dragon scroll which is blank
he got to know
he does not need words of instruction
but believe the very strength from the heart

所以
我
如果要爱
会爱个真实的人
整个人都爱
用我人生的驚艳去爱她

而爱
是不需去想是否能行
而是相信
只要我爱所以行

如果要爱
我会开足马力

一路上

2008-12-04T23:10:00.000+11:00

今晚。有点夜归。捉输棋的错。奔。我奔向车站。。。

只见电车跑了。我慢了一步。
看着电车的尾巴。我叹了一口气。果然。电车只是一大条铁团。没有一点感情。没有娇龙的灵巧。没有白蛇的诡异。实在没有灵性。只有夜空的零星。

今晚。一路向北。一步一步地踏。走。我得步行回家了。。。

孤单个影。走在漫长的路上。从开始的埋怨。心绪慢慢沉静下来。我才发现。这一路上。我曾经走过。路旁的一树一屋。。映入眼帘。脑海掠过曾经走过的痕迹。原来。当年曾经陪一位女生朋友夜晚回家。走在这一路上。想起。原来她曾经喜欢我。所以牵了我的手。原来她当时并不累。

这夜晚突然变得很长。感觉走了很久。夜空呈紫。心情有点蓝。。。

接近家的路了。看到另一辆电车缓缓开来。我清醒了。心中。自然地。毫不迟疑地。毫不做作地。飙出一连串怪码。
好象是类似这样的。 #@$*%$##!!$^#% 。呵呵。。放心。我很好。不禁骄傲。我可比你这铁条快。我轻功有点进步。继续加油。轻功好。才能吃到棉花糖。因为棉花糖是轻飘飘的。天空中的一朵云。

回到了家。心情还有点怪蓝的。洗澡后好很多。所以我爱洗澡。洗澡的时间。是不容妥协的。睡前开一下电脑。看到师妹越洋的字句。自然地。毫不迟疑地。毫不做作地。我笑翻了。没有一点矜持。

我想。。。今晚睡不好了。哈。
不怕不怕。。周末来了。

短的。长的。有的。没的。过去的。将来的。你的。我的。
一路上的。谢谢陪伴。因为陪伴。这一路上。其实不寂寞。

爱。

New Life

2008-11-30T23:34:00.000+11:00

I have just moved to this new place. A holiday-house alike kind of home. Visually, this is a very lovely house. And so, i post the lovely pictures up here. Living conditions actually could be meaning more than meeting the eyes. However, this post will be much about the coolness of my place. Telling the goodness will hypnotize oneself to feel good.

I personally like to complain, with or without awareness. However, i can get over it quite quickly. Because i will soon have new other things to complain about. HAHA.. I have learned not to be convicted in negative perception, or i have actually picked up to be complaining transiently, just for the sake of relieving negativity or just making common topics. Well, i have got some nicknames. In office, directors called me Curious Boy. Among some friends, they call me Complain King. I think the best nicknames should be Sweetheart or Darling kind of callings though. ^_^'' . But they should be highly limited to someone deserves to call. Hmm... now i know i am going too far from my topic today... OK, i have got a new living place. New Life began.

The house is located in North Melbourne. The so-far farthest place from the CBD for me since i landed on this big down under island. I plan to get a bike next year. Sitting far, this place has more green, and less dust i hope. But certainly with some fur. I have 2 housemates, Elmo and Oscar. They barked when they saw me, but now no more. And Elmo was committed to crime for kissing me without me saying YES. Well, they are pretty good housemates and i am yet to have further chatting with them. Under the same roof, the landlords are respected as highly conscious and practical environmentalists. They use grey water. They reuse water. They smartly use water. You can see we are actually living in an era that water is precious. Australia should be grateful to have people like them.

Hmm... This is a house with 2 blocks and a garden courtyard in between. My little (actually spacious leh! wahaha~) dwelling room is on upstairs of the rear house. The best physicality about this room is having the built-in robe (at the left side of the pic above. beyond this photos montage. so exaggeratedly reminding you not be able to see it. BIGNESS is the celebration) that is extremely big and i have hidden all my fugly things inside. I call this-- the Art of Ninja. I have to say that i sleep very well for the whole week since the first day here. I am not sure though, if it is because of the comfortably big double bed (as compared to the futon as my previous bed in old house) complimented by the green environment here, or simply i have been too tired of moving house such a BIG project.

I have been spending about 1 week to slowly unpack my millions of stuffs since arrival. 30% was done upon arrival day. Another 30% was done by today. Another 25% will be books and magazines which are yet to be unpacked and put nicely on the black color shelf that you could see from the picture. I will do it tomorrow! And make it looks so much like i am a good and keen reader. No smoking. No pubs. No smoke. Less calories. Less stress. More happiness... But hor.. speaking of reading, shelving the books is all about look. How pathetic! Argh... i actually love picture, love scene, love painting... but not too much of words. Some when from kids to high school time, i loved reading. Now i have many other distraction, good and bad. Well, i will and should try to re-nurture the elegance of reading spirit though! AHAHA~ And i need good books. You all are welcome to suggest nice books! A thankful kiss from the handsome. Muaks~ kaka..

I will yet need to idle around this current place to get its sense and context and SPIRIT! Bless me for living well here. ^_^ .

New Life, here we go!

强吻

2008-11-27T22:12:00.000+11:00

搬了新家后，这几天都因 overtime [working+packing+moving+unpacking] 。。。工作后还得来往新旧家，所以每每回到这新家时已经夜晚了。洗澡后，囫囵吃了晚餐不久，就要上床睡觉。因为住得远了，早上又得早起。如此下来，人变得精神不太好。是非常不好的。容易发生意外。因为，我虽然是男生，却也遇上了事故。所以，想说，女生更要照顾好自己。别让自己吃亏了。

今天放工后，有点虚脱+筋疲力尽而直接躺在沙发上。几乎不经一事的时候，突然被我的 housemate- Elmo 压在身上，紧抱着我。就这样被他强吻了。他的吻很热。很有力量。我极力拒绝。我想说，我不是 gay 的。当时却完全没有让我说话的空间。没想到，原以为他看起来书卷气质的样子，却。。。也没想到，一段时间没人吻过我。在这里不过数日，就被强吻了。Elmo，是我这新家主人的狗。不错，是一只感觉书卷味的狗。我想，或许我的嘴唇也有点性感吧。

以前的女友说过觉得我的嘴唇性感，让她觉得看来很好亲的样子。其实，我十撇中没有一撇是沾上性感的墨水。Wikipedia解释是说，那叫--爱屋及乌。讲到吻，让我想不到明确的东西，却感觉到唯美。可是，我天生对吻没有开窍技术可言。会搞到很尴尬。但那种尴尬，回想也是一种美。一些女生似乎‘喜欢’强吻的感觉，很突然的激情。我肯定会将突然的激情煮成突然的尴尬，然后空气中弥漫着停滞的气氛。所以，还是比较喜欢女生强吻我啦。不好意思，这方面，我做被动啦。情场上，常做了主动的傻瓜，所以想做被动的。哼。。嗯。。拜托了凯子，要天生帅/天生强/天生贵的才能有这种无聊的想象咯。。（摇头）我自己跟自己说话，精神分裂。。

不过，可能最近认识了一位开朗的女生朋友，所以正面了许多。而且她笑点低，容易笑。所以很好。羡慕-ing。她说她很长气地说正极能量的好处而觉得她自己很长气。其实她或许不知道，我觉得她很“正气”的。是正的气质。有些人有歪的气质。以前我曾经很容易悲观伤感，而自命清高地给了自己一个名--灰色王子，而且思想角度比较负面。其实，我不想太清高，因为我不想太短命。还有很多我想看到的东西。其实我本质应该是流着热情的血，对生活有一种爱。所以，还是感觉正面地过，日子会好过很多。

像今天，如果让我努力去想，发生了许多零零碎碎的霉事。但那要努力去想，而且不太想起是什么了。因为，脑海中装下了今天小小开心的事。虽然小，只要装了下去，就感觉满满了。所以，笑了。

^__^

最

2008-11-20T22:24:00.000+11:00

zo mo 我还在这里。。 ok ok。。我只是很想说。。
搬家收拾是很闷的。

嗯。。突发其想。。

最闷的工作：搬家收拾
最无中生有的：作家
最盲目的：爱人
最不踏实的：飞机师
最不诚实的：政治家
最强（牵强也可以）最可以解释任何事情的答案： Global Warming**
最pekcek的：找不到工作又没钱又得交房租 (w.wen)
最惡毒的: 隔壁家的安娣 (c.hung)
讲最多的：老师 (s.kuan)

最。。。

（有趣的话，请大家努力帮忙写一写你想到的。最好是让人意想不到的。
make a list of 'occupations' below. and i will collect your contribution and then compile into a list! see how far it could go. ^_^）
（谢谢参与 ^_^）

**注解：
eg: “找不到工作又没钱又得交房租” “很痛苦，都是 global warming 的错” 保佑保佑
eg: “global recession...” “because of global warming...” 保佑保佑
eg: “我又浪费时间了” “不要跟我讲，又是 global warming 的错” 保佑保佑
eg: “我的 ice cream 溶 liao..” “global warming lo..” 吃快一点就ok啦

zo mo

2008-11-20T21:01:00.000+11:00

其实现在应该忙于收拾东西。。。但我觉得很闷很无聊。所以来这里溜荡一两下。

最近下了一些雨。夏天突然放飞机，早了报道，现在却要迟到。雨后。雨后，如果你放宽视野放大角度去看这个世界，亮丽地，清新地，通常会有彩虹。雨后，如果你将自己含蓄地蹲在一角，细腻地，缓慢地，你会看到这世上小小且毫不起眼的生物。像山洪像海啸的雨后，蚂蚁开始爬出洞，蚯蚓开始探出头来。

这几天偶尔有些东西灵感像蘑菇一样在发霉的脑海一片一片冒出来。但Mario 没有跳过来採。可能空中的浮砖太高了。所以没有在这里写一些心里脑里突然的一些遐想。有时候那些突然的时候其实很多时候会突然神来一笔的。是有墨水有颜料可以在这里写写画画的。毕竟我会一点山水画。这种时候最适合。如果心情有点激烈，再被人家或事物或天意加了点油醋的话，就适合来幅烈火雄心的油画。不过，没有很对的心情在很对的时间啦。所以或许就浪费了那些雨后蘑菇。没办法啦，没有宣纸怎么来幅山水画，我不能像星爷在唐伯虎點秋香那里那样画啊。

所以啊。。。所以我说，还是要心不甘情不愿地继续收拾。有点感叹。又要搬家了。我挺喜欢这一带住处的环境。很不错的。附近也有绿绿的草原公园，高高的树，怡人的景，怡人的人，怡人的建筑。有空放一两张照片让大家看看啦。我喜欢在天气好的时候，在那里慢跑步。然后躺在草地上。睁开眼，蓝空配白云，绝对的高调地在说情话。闭上眼，感觉暖暖的斜射阳光，轻轻地听听加嗅嗅加深呼吸。呼出的是负能量。将头往右转，画面是90度的，由上而下铺的绿地，横长的树干，情侣在相吻拥抱，有情不怕90度掉下去的。将头往左转，画面是-90度的，什么时候博物馆是横着建起的，一群群玩耍的小朋友在追逐在玩球，有青春也是不怕地心引力的。牛顿一定超无奈大家没将他的一番定律放在眼里，因为都在课本里。继续躺着躺着。。。

喔，大便，是了，我还要继续收拾。。。还是懒一下好leh。。。真不好意思让人家给我加油后我还在这边闲言碎语蹉跎岁月。
zomo要酱子。。。努力努力加油加油！！卍解

(卍解注解)

钱不够用

2008-11-15T15:02:00.000+11:00

看了新加坡电影《钱不够用II》。看到关于妈妈的片段，很感动。我哭了。是的，是哭泣。让我掉眼泪的电影不多。让我哭得抽噎的电影更不多。电影里画面拍摄极其平凡。用了最简单直接的方式表达了大众的生活。最直接的感动。最见效。也反映了许多大部分人的生活，现实的残酷。很教育性。戏里虽然有一些并不需要的电脑元素和赞助味道，但无伤大雅，没有影响大纲。

电影导演梁智强展示了一贯作风，这次传达了精神层次更多的理念。值得一提的是演老妈妈角色的马来西亚演员--黎明。小时候就看多她演的戏了。这次的她，演活了mother的角色，牵动了观众的心。让我因为她掉了许多眼泪。有一幕她回头望的时候，我的心被紧紧地楸着。。。另外，自己喜欢戏里的赖怡伶，很漂亮动人，有着我见犹怜的气质，愿意为爱和家牺牲的小女人。如果有妻如此，何需他求。妳的手，我会牵紧紧。（嗯。。本人善于被感动+幻想。。牌写。。）

钱不够用，是极度烦恼的。比没钱更穷的时候，是更可悲的。穷了心志。穷了灵魂。穷了道德。成了彻底的穷鬼，是让人伤心的。《艺妓》里说了一句话：“有钱的并非最富裕，情才是福”

电影里用了歌曲-- 江蕙《家后》 (Internet Explorer / Safari is needed)
----

我就要开始收拾清理了，然后搬家，然后再收拾清理。会有一段忙的日子。最想要的房子拿不到。或许冥冥中自有安排。有不甘愿命运如斯，却也安然接纳。因为我也尽力了。觉得钱不够用。也努力着。只要一直有尽心尽力做好自己，就有继续加油走下去的力量。

Mates. Let's move on. Hand in hand. ^_^
----

“钱不够用2″mother入围金马奖

点击这里看一些电影简介和更多观众给予感动后的评语。我没在这里多讲，因为或许还有一些人还没看却想看的。

vain

2008-11-09T17:06:00.000+11:00

At times, i think of you, dream of you, and miss you.

At times, i think i am not designed for loving people. A bad lover i am.

I know you love chocolate.
Dove Chocolate has a quote:"love is an understanding between you and your favourite flavour."

I know what is my flavour. But i am bad in comprehending things. Understanding, to me, is not of one side, but two. Management and coordination are the flesh and blood in Understanding.

Hello.. how have you been, dear? Should i still call you dear? Can i?
Thank you.. to have stepped into my life.
And sorry..
What else can i do?
..

There are rather... fragments here. Fragments.. of memories.. of feel.. of self..

I do not know the meaning of this post.

Maybe, simply, i miss you.

I've got the guts

2008-11-09T15:11:00.000+11:00

Lately, the whole environment has been fluxed with uncertainties, so has been my life. I am about to move out from my current house. Plus, it has been quite a lot of architects got retrenched in architecture realm. Plus, i am waiting for my PR to be approved here which means my identity here is still in vagueness. Plus, i will go back to Malaysia for the year end holiday. Somehow, it seems to be the safest to stay still for now, to endure the storm of uncertainties. This however may not equal to the best.

Everyone smells it. The smell of worries over finance, employment etc. The smell of recession is strong and so maybe been exaggerated to some extents. The smell of Risk. 危. And who actually sees the opportunity beyond? 机. Safest to be the Still maybe. Risk and potential are tight on each side on a stream line of the Move. I am not sure what step i move may lead me to which side.

I have no ideas. But i have got the guts. I am going to have my holiday that will last for about 7 weeks. Among most of my friends who have freshly graduated (1 year or so experience is still considered as fresh for me) and are/are going to be permanent staffs, i should be the only one of my kind that have the guts to go for such a long holiday at a time like this: 'the economy slump and employment massacre'. I am never a brave person, nor am i smart. And i do not have enough wisdom, despite i have been feeling the wisdom in my teeth for a while already. Nevertheless, my holiday plan just happened to be a pre-conditionally misleaded one and hence needs justified.

My holiday was planned before the economy crisis. AUD currency was strong by then (just to let you imagine that everyone thought the economy and employment here were good by then) . Of course, AUD or whatsoever of that has nothing to do with my plan. My initiative of the holiday plan consists of: C'mas, New Year eve, family gathering and trip before my sisters go back to schools, meeting up with friends, CNY eve, and last but not least, my wisdom teeth operation. I do need some time to have all these done in my holiday.

I am quite looking forward to going back for holiday. Horoscope-ly speaking, a Cancer, like me, does rely and love his shell. After all, it is the shell that has been keeping him safe. He will polish his shell and make it a nice dreamy home for his family.

Well, frankly speaking, some degree of worries does cover my holiday plan. I am not sure if i am still of my company need when i am back to here. Anyway, most likely, i will just stick with the plan. The words from my friend Soma inevitably kept popping in my mind. Roughly, he said something like this: things always go beyond our grasp of control regardless of how foreseeable our plans have been worked out. We can never get the plan we planned. Because things not often work out the ways you hope. So, i guess what i will do is just to try my best to fulfill it. And, move on, with my faith. Faith, for having my plan appropriated to the best i can do, believing it is initiated from good wills.

With faith, we move on.
(also to my buddy CK)

是谁

2008-11-06T19:06:00.000+11:00

昨晚睡梦中
是谁轻吻了我的脸颊
若有若无的呵气
淡淡的香味
徘徊在衣领上
弥漫在薄凉夜风中

爱未知 M

2008-11-02T14:53:00.000+11:00

《爱未知M》

韩国电影《爱未知M》。看。是因为她。李妍喜。她有参与演出。是从我巨爱的电影《百万富翁的初恋》喜欢她而接着期待她后来的任何演出。所以看这《M》。是一部毫不偏向大众口味的惊悚电影。不太是鬼片。是爱情和记忆的追溯和追述画面。是艺术片。是美术的剪贴。有褒有贬。据说影片名称“M”是“Mystery（神秘）、Memory（记忆）、Mist （薄雾）和 Melo（爱情）”几个词的合体。

主角因事故而回避了世故，压抑了回忆，失去了，忘了，迷惑了，重遇了，追溯了，追随了。。。
看这《M》。才认识了这导演。李明世。无可非议的，他的拍摄中对光影的掌握已达到炉火纯青的境界。光和影是互补的元素，是画面的灵魂。喜欢美术的人，可以看一看。对戏里唯美的画面确实有惊叹的欣赏。导演用独到的画面承接启后手法，来叙述委婉扭转的故事。戏里看到了导演的自我风格与其理想的坚持。不沦落在跟世俗商业化的潮流。看到了一些不错的意境和自身记忆的潜探。这导演的一些拍摄也有一点王家卫的影子。有每每重复但细细差异的画面。个人觉得，他拍摄镜头的美术感高很多。但王家卫的故事比较栩栩流畅。只能说，李明世或许不是个会讲故事的人，是个画家。就好象，有些天才不会教人；有些好教师不是天才。

或许是导演的坚持，这电影似乎也太着重于画面形式。可以说，戏里画面的视觉转接极度流畅，内容却在画面承接中断断续续流失了原本足以感动观众的故事灵魂。所以造成可惜和遗憾。也或许在没有意识下，导演的拍摄作风坚持下，对演员的演出造成了局限性。浪费了原本可以演绎很好的演员。李妍喜虽然年轻，表现还有些嫩，但却有着细腻的投入演绎，多方面的角色性和丰富表情。她处女作《百万富翁的初恋》的导演就是慧眼发掘而将她的潜质发挥得淋漓尽致。虽然那电影剧情简单，却是有欢笑有泪水的必看小品。

《百万富翁的初恋》

如果将《爱未知 M》待为一个艺术展或一本像簿，简单地，在意境，诗意，梦幻，回忆，节奏，灵魂的影像画面中，欣赏，摸索，品味，重组，剪接和合奏，确实是个不错的体会。

对我而言，《M》也似乎隐喻了《Me》--我。自我。自我的寻找。自我的发掘。自我的风格。自我。却不过甚的自我。自我的拿捏。我。[me]。[kai]。

依悉记得，有人说过：人生，其实是死亡的开始。换句话说，人生的过程，就是怎样死去。其实，死，或轻于鸿毛，或重于泰山。过程中，在于怎么实实在在地充实自己，让自己走过的步伐翩出美丽的地图。我的人生中，还在寻找着我的舞台。我或许偶尔很自我。但我有时感觉体内有一股时静时劲的色彩，欲在空虚的天空中，找到合适的舞台，画下缤纷的彩虹。

茫茫人海里，爱未知。人生里，有不少时候也过得很混/浑/昏。今年来，事事似乎都不太如意。工作上，也还没有真正找到感觉，时常有不甘愿于斯的感觉。看来是要经过一番失意挫败的。所以，人生里，我还要加把劲。
“天降大任于斯人也，必先苦其心志，劳其筋骨，饿其体肤，空乏其身，行指乱其所为，所以动心忍性，曾益其所不能。”
这句话真好。真好引。叹气完了，就要振作振作振作！！！
（不好意思，抄来自勉了 ^0^）

Bruce|| "Why do we fall"
Alfred|| "So that we learn to pick ourselves up"
Bruce|| "You still haven't given up on me"
Alfred|| "Never"
(The movie_ Batman Begins)
(嗯。。来而不往，非理也。 ^_^）

Melbourne is no longer livable?

2008-10-25T22:05:00.000+11:00

Frankly, the first time i really got to know about the name of the place - Melbourne, was some when in high school, because of my idol singer Stephanie Sun Yan zi. She mentioned this was her most favorite place.

Melbourne, was a lovely place, to live and travel. Melbourne, is now still lovely, to travel but maybe not quite for living in.

Nowadays, what i feel about Melbourne, is not something too negative, but something potentially bad. All is about my personal feels. But i think they are pretty right. I dont know if the locals have been feeling the similar.

Three years ago, i was great to tell that i was in a very livable city. I still could recall some early moments when i came to this city. Some people did smile to me when passing by even if we were just strangers to one another. The city was pretty ambient with some activities and crowds. The pace of people on the street was relaxing.

Now, i feel like Melbourne is a container. It is trying to contain a lot of things but it is nearly bursting. It has been too many people on the streets in the city. It has been harder to walk through the crowds in lunch time. It has been longer queue to get my food. It has been many many more people competing to rent apartments or houses. It has been extra harder to get your application approved. It has been much more higher with the rents. It has been slower and slower for immigration office to process the permanent residency applications. It has been more crowded in trams and trains. It has been getting wilder with the climates.

Melbourne is just not catching up the demand with its supply. Overwhelming immigration and population has been causing too much pressure on the housing supply and public transportation. Things are going slightly off balance. Melbourne is no longer livable as it was unless the issues and problems are otherwise be addressed and solved asap. At least, that is how i feel. Nevertheless, it is still a very good place compared to many corners in the world.

I just prefer old things maybe. Weird huh..

春天

2008-10-21T22:22:00.000+11:00

冬天。过去了。

在 Melbourne。四季里。我最爱春天和秋天。因为气温并不太极端。
可 Melbourne 的天气。像是女生的脾气。善变的淘气。有时一天里会有四季的天气。

我不爱冬天。因为夜长日短。常乌云挂天。

我爱春天万物更新的感觉。爱春天开始呈蓝的天空。爱青青嫩芽迫不及待地端在树枝上。爱花卉丛中含苞待放的兴奋。春天。是见证生命力的时候。是最难让人郁闷的时候。是横冲直撞了一年里头康复的时间。爱春天。也因为爱看女生穿得很漂亮。穿得少。却不太少。有飘纱的感觉。夏天。热情的背后。其实有更多的慵懒。

却没有想到。今年的春天。我大部分的时间。放在工作上。找房子更让我耗神耗力。这春天。让我很累。在这他人的土地上。找房子。让我偶尔想起那很烂又很好的马来西亚。想念我的好友。当然有好多到新加坡了。虽然那里没有春天。却记忆了我最多笑容的日子。有很好朋友的朋友。有时不太喜欢这里。因为没有归属感。每年搬家。我厌倦了找房子。厌倦了搬家。厌倦了凑人数。厌倦了跟不是很朋友的朋友有的无的说天气。我忘了。最后谈心的是哪一天。似乎。在这南方大岛上。我没有什么谈心的时候。没有什么笑到落泪的时候。这岛上。有许多很好很好的东西。可我并没笑得更多。或许。只是我突然现在很蓝。BLUE。

今年的春天。还爆发了经济萧条金融风暴。这里许多建筑公司裁员。扑开的画纸。像砧板。纸上绚丽的线条。像砧板上被宰的鱼流下的血痕。最后还是要被洗掉。再BLUE。又蓝又红。成紫。毒的颜色。晕。春天不能是紫色。不伦不类。坏。

嗯。反正明天要早到公司。我应该现在马上去睡。睡个漂亮的明天出来。明天。春天。

Fragrance. Hygiene.

2008-10-19T17:12:00.000+11:00

I think sometimes i have quite a sensitive sense of scents. I used to post a blog about fragrance. Apparently i dont know much about perfume. But i do like it, if it is used nicely and appropriately. The fragrance is something beyond the pure smell from the bottle, it is some sort of evaporation that reveals someone's taste, gesture, character as well as the chemical myth that work out the coordination of finest workmanship, technology and users characters.

Sometimes, i am attracted by someone just because of her fragrance. Lightly. Decently. And sometimes i will be feeling very good while walking on the grass with the breeze of flowers fragrance. All these little details do surprisingly contribute to a 'good day'. Do you know why fragrance is important? Guess you all have always heard this phrase "romance is in the air". SO, we smell the romance!

Fragrant, does not mean clean. Smelly, however means bothering to the slightest; annoying or disgusting to a tougher degree. Since i have been working for months here, i started to notice the importance of oral hygiene. So far, to my experience in communicating in the work field, most bosses dont have problem with oral hygiene. Sometimes i only smelled the coffee scent when they speak. On the other hand, i found it really annoying when a colleague talked to me with bad oral odor. According to some statistical analysis, oral hygiene does help in improving human relationship, in work, and also among couples. I do really feel a bit reluctant to kiss a girl if she has really bad oral hygiene. Imagine how much extents of romance could it kill, while whispering in the ears, kissing, or having sex... When it comes to such seemingly meaningless detail, i am surprised by how deeply it influence or recall memories of mind. I can even remember so far in my life, i have encountered a few special girls. It was as if, i could smell their fragrance while they spoke. It was like.. i could hear the words from their mouth, but also i could smell the words. Come to think of it... smell the words... how weird. I have to say, fragrance, could form a picture, a painting, or a film.

Well, i personally dont know if i have bad odor or not, because i have troublesome wisdom teeth. However i do always try my best to keep my mouth clean. I use brush, mouthwash everyday, and dental frosts sometimes. At times, friends do comment that i am pretty slow while brushing my teeth. Well, it cant be bothered, because i just could not simply rush it even if i am late. Oral hygiene also plays an important role to keep one's health in good hand. Oral bacteria could influence one's heart in long term.

Personally, i think it is also common and important to keep armpit and feet clean. Appropriate use of deodorant is good too. But never too much. And i am quite supportive about armpit hygiene. I think hairless armpit is good. It may not be scientific but many could tell from experience. About feet, i once went to watch a movie with my friends. One of them took off his shoes in the cinema and the whole atmosphere became smelly and unbearable. With this kind of friends, i would definitely not go to any Thai or Korean or Japanese restaurant that requires sitting on the floor cushions and shoes-off at the entrance racks. I would go somewhere else. Of course, friends, are friends still. It is just the matter of getting along together in daily life, especially for close friends, housemates or couples.

I could sound a bit too picky and fussy. I used to have a girlfriend who embraces clean and hygiene quite exaggeratedly and funnily. She has even tried 'enforcing' her hygiene habit on me. Well, i guess many things in the past participated in shaping the ME today.

(Photo: The Kiss- by Chasing Twilight from Flickr)

Growth

2008-10-08T11:17:00.000+11:00

(Reminded by m.yin, i browsed back the pictures of my Cameron Highland trip early this year which recalled sweet and sour memory of mine. Nevertheless, i found this picture i took on the fields of Watercress plantation.)

When you do micro-observation to your surrounding environment, you will be amazed by how the living organism in the world strives to survive the tough situations. Here, i am impressed by how the plants and micro organism surviving for their good in the water and on the move. They possess the sense of belonging amazingly in such unstable condition. You would question my observation about the micro organism that i couldnt see with my bare eyes. But, i studied biology before, and here, simply looking at the color combination revealed from the picture. You would agree that lives are inside! They enhanced the colors of life. The moving water here serves as the tough challenge for them to hold a place of micro ecology, yet, it plays the role as the interface of bringing nutrition.

The dualism of water, and the strong will to survive of those organism, bring up a picture of growth from extremes.

在新生代漫画改篇的日剧《交响情人梦》中，有一句话：
“在历史上留名的音乐家
都不但只是有才华
也有和各种重要的珍贵的人相遇”
所以，伯乐与千里马之间，是不可缺一的。有慧眼的人，更加不能眼看有才华却错过的事情发生。
至少，为了发挥，千里马要有一个宽阔无际的草原和跨出第一步奔腾的勇气；为了栽培，伯乐要有豁达大度的内涵和无羁的胸怀。

近来，突然想起朋友说过‘助养小孩’的事情。结果，我就参与了 Save the Children http://www.savethechildren.org.au/index.html。There is another popular similar program- World Vision. But what bother a bit to me from World Vision is that it sounds more about Christianity and even the permanent staffs are all Christians only. I do not have any bias position to any religions. But my very intention about helping the children, should be something very neutral, regardless of races, politics, religions etc.

Therefore, spontaneously i have joined Save the Children. I dont know i will be a Child Guardian of who. But just hope every little help given will be sufficient enough to ease them from their struggling difficulty and provide a Performance Stage for them to grow, to learn and to explore more. I hope many kids are nurtured in better environments. Kids are adorable. They are to sustain the future.

Age and Aging

2008-10-04T23:28:00.000+10:00

How old am i? 24?

To my parents, i am always young. Without the need of doing anything, I am always their son that calls for their concerns, draws their attention, and asks for love. I am never old enough for them not to worry about me.

In my field of expertise- Architecture, i am also young. I am far too young to be able to master the arts of communication and coordination in between consultants and clients; and not mature enough to handle any advanced construction, structural integrity, innovative detailing, as well as appropriate architectural language in complex urbanity and society background. But, in this field, i am young enough to have wild imagination and the willingness of going-beyond. I hope such benefits of mine can stay tuned and be sharpen into a sword for me in this generally sense-petrifying field. I don't want to get numb and robotic-'mechanical' in everyday life under the pathetic norm of capitalism.

Among my friends, i could be quite young too. Some of my friends are even married and having their kids. I think they are truly great, especially parenting their kids. I wish them sincerely for their bright future. Some of my friends have very mature kind of thinking that always takes two steps ahead and just simply foresees third step into accounts. But not simple, for me. Meanwhile, i also have friends who don't think or analyze things too much in their life. A few of them could be even simply annoyed or couldn't be bothered when i just tried analyzing something. To my surprise, actually now no more surprise, quite a lot of them are females. Some girls do prefer sweet words to speech. Well, i don't object about that. Guess that girls are gifted to be entitled fully to enjoy that. Nevertheless, some people who don't analyze their life do live their lives happily than anyone else. Somewhat am i to be envious of. Because, i hardly think nothing for something. In fact, there are times i think something for nothing. It could be a sin.

In love, i am quite naive. I could be not single otherwise. Of course, this doesn't apply to everyone who is single. Right, i am single. I should RSVP for love maybe. lol..
Surviving, i am far too young to be, if by my own. Financially and mentally, i am not mature enough to just survive the tough society by myself. Recently, i have been busy looking for houses because i have to move out soon from my current place. It is a real pain for a foreigner like me here to seek for accommodation. In 4 years time, i have moved 4 times into different places. And now, i am looking for the Fifth.

The rent in Melbourne** is incredibly high compared to Kuala Lumpur due to the incredibly high demand from overwhelming immigration and insufficient supply of housing to accommodate the new population. Lower than 1% vacancy in Melbourne renting properties proves the rent on the rise. If i am going to move out and rent a place by myself, i could end up paying the rent that could actually be the salary of a graduate architect in Malaysia. Such pain graved with the inconvenience of me having to move house every year eventually forced me to come across with the idea of purchasing a house here, Melbourne. Right, ridiculous, but could be reasonably advantageous in long term pay back. I don't have strong and promising financial income as "architects are cheap labors" is not a wrong phrase. Having said that, i started to think and study about property market here lately. (That's why i have been quite busy lately and didn't blog often). This diverting thinking from renting into buying consideration suddenly put me into a state of mind that i have not been stepping in. I suddenly feel aging.

Aging, and i see different things. Maybe it is not so good. Now, advertisements about property sales, news about Australian properties market, even empty land or construction sites, flooded into my sight. Speaking of which, only recently i got to know some basic stuffs about Stamp Duty Cost, Body Corporate Fee, Repayment, Rent Guarantee, Capital Gain, etc this kind of terms. I used to only see beauty, fashion, brand, etc. I think my eyes now are more tired, because i see more. And i see aging. Sudden accelerating aging. This actually made me feel a bit worrisome that i suddenly turn into a old capitalist. Nevertheless, i still love all fun lifestyles things, beauties, fashions, shirts, pants, ties, dress, singlet, skirt, bra, lingerie, fragrance, food, comics, anime, toys and everything. Just that i am a bit tired. Guess i do need more rest.

Sleep now, and so i will be energetic and see things more clearly. Because i need to see things in the possible storm of economic slump. Well, i don't freaking know what is going to happen about that, from that, of that. But there is a good phrase in Chinese. Risk and Opportunity come in juxtaposing bundle. Seek and develop opportunity from within or otherwise take the risk to fall into. 危机。危与机，掌握与错失在于一线间。我看到了什么。

Aging- Picture source:
Pic 1 (modified by me after) . Pic 2.

** Melbourne is one of the most livable cities in the world. I think it is too good for that to have then driven such crazy immigration from both overseas and inter-states in Australia. Many side-effects caused by such phenomenon also contributes to imbalance of gentrification and inflation of many things, including increasing rent! Overwhelming population is now posing a possible threat to the affordability, public transportation, etc to the extent of very livability...

Fast Food Culture Vs Abbreviation

2008-09-22T23:31:00.000+10:00

We have come across to a notion that being fast ensures your preference, achievements and possession. Be it inevitably true, fully or partly, a sense of sadness is nevertheless unavoidable.

At times, i cant help but feeling a bit sad when we have to make things faster and faster. Slowly yet quickly, our awareness to the surrounding has been eroding. No more could you be holding yourself back just to see the dad playing with his kids, neither do you bother to slow down your pace smiling back to a little girl that smiled at you. And try to suddenly stop on the path you normally take to your work or school, just stop and be looking around, you will start feeling to blend in and see the things that are just too normal for you to 'abnormally' notice in everyday life. Or, taking away all the vehicles from the road and we walk on it. We will simply be amazed by comparing our fast and slow paced life differences. (Check New York streets shuts from William's blog.)

Fast food culture has been prevailing for near decades. Undeniably, the conveniences provided by it help in our screwed life to some extents. Its certain contribution as in introducing more enrichment into individual inherence, should be accredited. But kids nowadays are taking it much more often than we used to do. Fast food culture, one of the very forms of globalization is actually killing the 'authenticity' of food, tradition and culture of many fantastic races. I bet many from young generations have no real clue about 'authenticity'. It is a bit amusing when someone introduces me some non-authentic food as authentic. Overwhelming promotions on fast food culture eventually make everything generic, colorless, tasteless, boring, and unhealthy.

Living in Melbourne where great diversity is highly embraced and immigration is encouraged (skilled migration, livability etc), lots of different food and cultures have actually increased my awareness of keeping and improving every unique self-values amidst introduction of globalization.

Abbreviation, though shares some similar characteristics of fast food culture, actually acquires more respects for it. To me, abbreviation, is something very accurate, and varied greatly to many different departments/fields, such as medicine-health care, architecture, technology, etc. Derived from professions and cultural phenomenology, abbreviation greatly emphasizes the proper uses with precision and accuracy of message delivery.

However, i have also noticed abbreviation seems to be abused in commercialization in order to advertise it more easily for people to grasp the selling points, or sometimes just falling to become short forms of typing/addressing something.

Therefore, there seems to be a great gray zone where both fast food culture and abbreviation share their inter-fluxing. Identity, Branding, Globalization...

Abundant use in inappropriate situations may lead confusions.
"Doing SM Down Under here is FCUK-ing a pain?"
(SM-Skill Migration, FCUK-French Connection, Down Under- Australia, as positioning on the globe.)
"FYI, the venue is yet TBC but do RSVP ASAP in order to get your seat."
(FYI- For Your Information, TBC- To Be Confirmed, RSVP- "Répondez s'il vous plaît"/ Response if you please, ASAP- as soon as possible.)

A question hereby was dropped by myself...
Does architecture realm have such similar kind of phenomenon? As in what forms? And how?

宁静后的飞翔

2008-09-22T23:08:00.000+10:00

在较早前的日子，生活过得有点不顺利的时候，写下了这下面的心情。现在，日子过得比较充实了。虽然还有一些类似以下的影子，可也算是变的比较豁达了一些。

##
最近工作都很不顺利。被安排在机械性作为的工作下无法学习很多。

突然想跳槽。想在外国最短的时间学到足够的东西再回国。可是，时间，机遇和贵人都是不可缺的因素。这里经济开始下滑，找工也不容易了。

为了理想，或许应该多尝试往外闯。但，或许会搞得山穷水尽，焦头烂额。有理想的人，或许会饿死在街角。又或许，曾经尝试过的人，或许没有出人头地，没有建立丰功伟绩。但他们走起的步伐，或许是超尘的脱俗轻快，眼神是灵气盈盈，或脸色是神采飞扬。

还是为了温饱三餐，含混度日。。。有钱，可以满足一些长辈的虚荣心；可以让自己盛装打扮。可是，在帥气的外貌，耀眼的衣裳下，还是温暖不了那寒骨的空虚。钱袋不停地涨，空虚无声无息地侵蚀。还是，人的一生就是许多无奈的循环。

理想和生存。我近来就是站在这中间地带，在黑暗中苦苦寻找一盏灯。因为，我没有方向。还没有。我没有足够用心在家人，没有足够用心在女朋友。甚至有时什么都不想。家人或许一身一世都体谅着。女朋友或许觉得我冷漠了她，冷待了这段感情。我什么也没说。

我觉得，对待成人，要将心拿出来，要多顾虑多方面。可我现在没有足够的元气。

因为，我在寻找自己。如果我的心不觉得踏实，难道我能含混地对待身边的人吗？我宁愿暂时宁静。
##

生活就在我保持沉默的时候，还没回神之际，突然有了措手不及的转变。像镜面般的湖水，其实暗流变幻异常。所以，也发现了，我不是能游水的一条鱼。我是比较爱凉风清香扑面的一匹马，一只鸟。轻快地奔驰，放纵地滑翔。

我要宽阔的草原，蔚蓝的天空。

p/s: i love you

2008-09-18T00:14:00.000+10:00

I hope i can be a good son
as the best gift i can give for you
Happy Birthday
Daddy

p/s: i love you

Beauty Entrapment 粉红陷阱

2008-09-14T23:37:00.000+10:00

I have been really bad in managing a love relationship. I am not talented in that. Neither do i have the skill to ignite it.

I knew femme fatale and 红颜祸水 these phrases. I was also convinced when i read the novels of my favorite novelist Jin Yong. I actually do not blame any sad things, nor do i push the responsibility of any sad cases to women. What i am bring up here, is just about Love. Love, that i am still far to understand and be blessed of.

(National Library of Australia. Library, an emblem of wisdom.)

We knew love is a glass of intoxicating wine, a trap full of thorns, a blind of bliss, a swamp of tears. We knew. We have knowledge. But wisdom does not bring you along safely. Because it does not help here, or simply we need more of it in love, or love management if you would like to say. Maths does not work in here too, because asymmetrical formula is already a bonus in a relationship compared to nothing.

But why did i still fall into the trap even if it is forecasted with warnings? I think because love weaves dreams. And it is particularly appealing to a dreamer like me. I don't really care if the beautiful dream is promising. This should be the greatest dilemma for an intrinsic beauty lover like me.

Because of the dream for passion and bliss of love, i risk myself to fall in love, to indulge and get indulged. Love, is powerful, isn't it. I braved myself once and once again, with attempts to love that someone i love and earnest to get a true love. I closed my eyes and jumped on the bed of roses. I forgot there are thorns.

I bleed. I finally knew i am still yet to be ready for a true love, maybe. Because i just swam over the swamp of tears, and now 'sunbathing' in shadow darkness.

refer:
femme fatale
Jin Yong

Richard Green

2008-09-14T17:41:00.000+10:00

Richard Green, could be an unfamiliar name to many. You may possibly get the different guy Richard Greene (with an 'e' behind) who was a screen star in "The Adventure of Robin Hood" if you try 'google' it.

I went to Canberra to renew my passport 2 weeks ago and saved the chance for wandering around. There, i bumped into National Library of Australia. In a small exhibition space provided there, i got to know the name-- Richard Green.

Richard Green. A landscape photographer. Unlike many of the art pieces in exhibition, his photographs are simply straightforward, bold, and simple. Not abstract. Not vague. Simply breathtaking.

(His photographs stand the most only when you are in the exhibition looking at the real size pieces.)

His photographs are mainly of wild places of this big "down-under" island-- Australia. Some of his photographs take up to some lengths beyond 2 metres. They were taken with high resolution of camera, high ambient spectrum of richest colors, and the very spirit of the places. He insists to take the photos with the best positions regardless of the piling attempts of visits to a place at different times, difficult standing points at the cliff of mountains or the edge of waterfall rocks or in the wet swamp, just to capture the best timing, weather and the sense of place with his lens. His extraordinarily huge photographs give strong impact from far-away sight and also delicately depict every single details of the landscape, the life on it, the coverage of the shadow, and even his own shadow among the trees that takes up only maybe about 0.2% of the overall photo size.

What i am impressed about his works and his passionate insistence is somewhat behind his lens-- his philosophy and intention of his artworks. From his photography, life on the earth seems to be extremely small, inter-relying and precious. "You only live once", is what came into your mind looking on the artworks. Nature, is the art itself. And most of his photographs were taken in dawn or sunset time of which the best timing for the richest colors from the atmosphere is hence ultimately transient. Naturally, people tend to think and feel the most at the times of dawn and sunsets because of the awareness and sense of time.

From his photographs, Richard Green illustrate how life is transient, beautiful, strong and yet fragile on the seemingly tough but emotional earth. It comes also with the urge to seriously look into the very inch of our environment, what we have been doing and should be doing.

When you look into his photographs, you look at the places, you hear the chirping sound, you feel the cooling breeze, you smell the wet earth. You are simply overwhelmed.

p/s 1:
Richard Green: Wild Places 27 August – 27 September 2008
Byron McMahon Gallery, 88 George Street Redfern, Sydney
Open Wednesday – Saturday 11- 5pm, www.byronmcmahongallery.com.au
(Click here for PDF Source)
(and here for The Sydney Morning Herald news page)

p/s 2: He uses Canon EOS 1Ds digital camera equipment. I insist to use Canon cameras too though i am not as professional. I love the colors from Canon lenses. Sony is too supernatural, Panasonic is too digital, Nikon is too conservative. BUT, of course, it is more about the users, not the tools. Strong heart leads the light.

Malaysian Passport 1

2008-09-07T19:17:00.000+10:00

"A passport is a document, issued by a national government, which certifies, for the purpose of international travel, the identity and nationality of its holder."
--Wikipedia

I have got my Malaysian Passport renewed. But it was rather a pain for Malaysians to renew their passports in Australia. Simply because we have to go to the High Commission of Malaysia in Canberra to do it. Right, no other way! How outrageous is that you have to take a flight to Canberra, if you are a Malaysian in Melbourne or Sydney, or poorly those even further? No one is going to refund your travel expenses including flight, taxi and public transport.

(It is hilarious that the High Commision building is simply another Malaysia official-like building with the 'bumbung' of rumah kampung, being put in the context of Australia. Just as stubborn as how they put the Arabic-like domes all around on the buildings in Putrajaya. Apparently, architects, are useless for them since some of them don't mind to have non-context-responsive concept. Just like attitude, they are lack of having promptly effective response in different context while keeping their usual attitude as in Malaysia.)

In regards to that, i was trying to get a consular to talk about it. But i ended up very disappointed because there is no consular in Melbourne! No consular in Victoria State of Australia. It is simply pathetic that the Malaysian government always claims they are catching up the developed country but they don't even allocate a consular here giving attempt to help those oversea Malaysians.

How ridiculous is that for a place like Victoria (Australia) which is bigger than the Malaysia Peninsular not to have just a consular? And so i kept stalking them. I made phone calls. The official explained that the Malaysian government needs to save money. Well, i know they spent a lot in other aspects where the Malaysians taxation went to... Besides, i also know building-a-castle-as-a-house is costly, buying military aircraft is expensive , and of course sodomy charge and its movie-making is hardly affordable too. All these cost a lot of money yeah..

In order to test how helpful and how interactive are oversea Malaysian officials in Australia, i then tried emailing to every (i might have missed out one of two) consular in other states of Australia such as New South Wales, Queensland, Western Australia, etc. But, as expected, none of them replied me. I even received notification saying that a few of my emails to them were 'delayed' until no time. Most possibly, some email addresses are not even updated with current consular on position. Again, the government always claims to have advanced facilities but the service and attitude are never up to the front line. Just like computer, the outcome will be just crap, no matter how good is the hardware if the inferior software is not helping it.

Besides, i would like to say that such new policy having the must to renew passport in Canberra tells the very consequences of Malaysian government always causes: enlarging the environmental footprint! Such policy is just not economically and environmentally sustainable. So many Malaysians have to take flight to Canberra, plus the taxi travel forth and back, thus significantly increase the CO2 emission caused per person. I feel so bad for it! IF, we really have to continue doing that in Canberra, at least a good suggestion here: please provide a van or mini-bus to bring the poor Malaysian crowds back and forth from the Canberra Airport. I would even rather pay for this and appreciate it.

(I took the cheapest domestic flight, but it still cost me some amount of money which is equivalent enough to have bought about 100 days of Nasi Lemak for breakfast in Malaysia. But still, who cares?)

Last but not least, Passport, is the most important thing for oversea Malaysians to prove their identity. I am not very into politics and maybe i am not one of the most patriotic, but i am not ashamed to tell people that "i am from Malaysia". Because the 'formation' of myself is largely contributed from the origin. I love many people and places in Malaysia. Not forgetting the Malaysian food! But i would really appreciate and support the government if they are really doing the right things, helping to ease the burdens on the nation but not causing more troubles.

True Politic, should not be a stake for performance and speculation of power of the politicians. True Politic, should be the understanding and promises between the nation and the ruler.

p/s:

A bunch of my friends who have had their passport renewed in Canberra some time ago also commented with consensus that the whole procedure and attitude of the passport renewal done by the official did look like: they are not so pleased to process all those for us. Or, we are not welcomed? The mood went even worse when Ahmad Ismail's claim of "Chinese squatters" burst. So, the Chinese in Malaysia are not Malaysian? So, who am i?

Responsibility and Apologia simply don't exist for those governors anymore. And why should the nation entrust them? I have a few nice Malay friends and they are all good and more rational in thinking. Is it because they are new generation? Have been exposed to more in oversea? I am not bias to anyone or any party. But i won't buy the idea to keep immature racist in government. Hey, it is so out-of-fashion! Come on, racism is no longer working.

Reference:
http://www.malaysiamysecondhome.org/malaysia-newspaper/
http://blog.limkitsiang.com/
http://www.kennysia.com/
http://mustafakanuar.wordpress.com/2008/09/01/why-more-heat-is-on-ahmad-ismail/
http://timnam.blogspot.com/2008/09/politic.html

寂寞

2008-09-07T16:53:00.000+10:00

自从跟前女友分手以来，我都努力地康复，努力地活好日子。努力地学着坚强，学着不寂寞。可原来的我，本来就是个挺孤寂的人。因为本身的性格，真正交心的朋友不多。一些很要好的老友，都远在他方。希望他们日子过得很好。因为，我喜欢自己的朋友都过得很好的。

在这极好的地方，想要阔大生活圈子和交际网络，可也不容易。一些朋友喜欢夜生活，可我不行，我太爱睡了。一些喜欢上夜店酒吧舞池，可我都不太会享受。我无法运用丹田内力大声说话跟他们沟通。我更没有跳舞的韵律节奏细胞。我有的天份，画画等，无奈的非常含蓄，含蓄得没有太多人会因为那而跟我交朋友说话。

我会关心人家，可我没有幽默。也所以寂寞。

但这小女生朋友允熙写了一些话。短短的，却很有感触。像是我以前写过类似的。她也引述了她姐的一番话。很有味道的。
“寂寞的女人要学会品味寂寞，
因为这样的时刻在生命里决不是少数。
请记住：即使寂寞，远方黑暗的夜空下，
一定有个人和你一样，寂寞的人不同，
仰望的星空却是唯一。”

虽然我不是女人，至少，我也觉得舒服了一点。真想摸摸她的头，安慰她说：“别愁，妳会幸福快乐的。”

Kickstart

2008-09-07T14:41:00.000+10:00

Hmm.. 1, 2, 3.. Kick-start testing.

It has been a long hiatus since last post in blogger. I decided to have a brand new blog for myself. This blog will not be limited to English typing only, depends on what i feel like pouring out from my heart.

And i would not know if i could maintain this blog long-term wise. Hope it goes well.

Cheers, mates.