Saturday, January 24, 2009

两小无猜

昨晚看医生。在诊所,等待的时候,看到一对马来友族的小兄妹在嬉戏。不像许多哥哥会玩比较粗鲁暴力的男子气游戏。也让我想起我对妹妹似乎真的不够好,难怪zomo他们不叫我一声‘哥’。哦。。。是了是了,一定是了。汗。。
话说。。。

小哥哥吃力地抱起小妹妹,小小男生似乎觉得抱得起妹妹是莫大的勇气,无穷的力量,帅气的男人。抱了起来,开心地跑。被捧在怀里的妹妹,也呵呵地笑了起来。抱得累了,哥哥放下妹妹。大手捉小手,两人一起开心地跑。跑累了,哥哥的手放在妹妹的肩膀上,妹妹的手放在哥哥的腰上,慢慢地走,依旧呵呵地笑,说着一些我不是很听得懂的孩子气语言。他们俩的一举一动,仿佛像小小的情侣。洋溢的,是纯纯的喜悦。我想起了伊。

走着走着,哥哥的力气恢复了。妹妹笑闹着要抱抱。哥哥又再抱起妹妹,脸上显出微微的骄傲和喜悦,然后奔跑。妹妹轻爽的呵笑声,冲淡了诊所的忧虑气氛,溶化了病容。抱着,跑着,累着,放下。那兄妹重复了好几回同样的把戏。完全没有厌倦。最后,小兄妹都玩得累了。抱着妹妹的哥哥,连人一起跌坐在地上。我有点担心地想趋前。只见,那小兄妹坐在地上,哈哈大笑。我心里笑了起来。我又想起了伊。

是的。喜悦,是自然的,是纯真的,是不会厌倦的。我希望,我和伊,一起欢笑,一起掉泪,一起面对,一起了解,一起拥抱,一起手牵手,一起走我们这非一般的路。

来来。。给我一个高‘5’!!

Saturday, January 10, 2009

锁


我弟发了脾气,我难过了。我爸难过了,我心疼了。妈病了,爸照顾妈。妈病好了,爸照顾弟。我的心被揪得紧紧。
沮丧的时候,我想起了伊。我所以振作起来。

因为伊,我发现了自己,丢掉了自己,让自己重生了。因为伊,我坚强了。

我弟却迷失了自己。

我对他说

你可还记得你以前种种优越的个性,你可还记得你比我勇敢,我比你懦弱。我现在坚强了,你不是应该更坚强吗?
所以,现在你要勇敢面对它,勇敢面对自己。

我相信,凡事,每个人,的好坏,都有。如果可以尽数,是相对平衡的。
我没对你说,人,性本善。我却对你说,好坏充斥,取舍在于一线间,一念之差。当信念持正的时候,人,自然因好而笑。坏,自然因无法作祟而隐去。我们因为坏而认识好,发掘好,珍惜好,发挥好。好坏共存,只要能坦然对待,雨后彩虹后,你会因为好,而对坏感恩。

而你,因为病了,恶魔将坏放大。你忘了自己的好。

所以,你要将自己闭关的锁,给开了。

让你自己,给自己一个机会,找回自己。给大家一个机会,伸出援助。
我伸出的手,不感觉疼酸,只要你会紧紧握住。我会跟你走这大便一般的路。
你将来便会觉得,真正的大便,不过如此。

Thursday, January 8, 2009

先将自己丢掉

看着伊的文字,我从心底笑了出来。
散发着一种自由的气质。
突然发现,伊,有信念,有想法;没有格局,没有形式。
我感觉到伊的心,让人很容易亲近感觉到伊的心。
伊善良,让我看见了伊舒暖宽阔的心境。
伊是如此美丽。

我看着一面镜子。
我,也有信念,有坚持,还有形式。原来,我自己有个框框。
我自己太有一套。

嗯,看来,我得先将自己丢掉。彻底那种。丢掉所有珈琐。
然后放开。
让那自由的心,油然而生。
因为我也想变帅。笑。

重生后,对伊笑着说:
妳有妳的信念
我有我的坚持
这交汇时互放的光彩
没有硝味
因为彼此坚信的
同是自然的感受
坦诚的交流

爱

What is with the Architect?


Generally, when you hang out with someone who is an architect, do not feel weird that he is always busy looking around. He looks downward into the drainage strips; he looks upward to the ceiling. He uses stupid alien language like authenticity, mezzanine, louvre screen, HVAC [Heating Ventilation and Air Conditioning system], etc. He looks at details, materials, people, buildings, streets, urban corners… totally random they may be. But he may be looking at how people and things proportioning, standing, structuring, connecting, occupying, complimenting, contrasting and intervening each other.

And then, he could just sigh simply for the ridicule failure or the mythical astonishment of how things join, how brilliant talents of some designers endowed, and how shallow himself is. Basically, his eyes are just too keen.

And also, he insists to let something of the background in or out from the photos taken by his camera. He tries to make sure the background and foreground figures fit well into the frame. He tries to capture emotions and light. But he is as not professional as photographer. He is just happy doing that. At times, he is lazy or just snap shots on you with free styles. Because you are good enough to be in his pictures.

And so, you do not need to feel awkward, when he pauses and looks at you. Sometimes he is just too tired after busy looking around. He looks into you. He needs some rest. To rest, is to gain more and to walk further.

At times, he may be just absent minded. He could be brainstorming the ideas that flash through his mind, or just imagining things like how to make a paper stands. At times, his mind could be just as messy as his working desk. At times, he may be suddenly clear, just like his favor tracing papers that he uses topping layers of drawing complexities.

What is with the architect?
He has preference of taste. He insists, he sculpts, he does not care the rest.
He has his passion for life. He sees, he loves, he constructs.
When he feels the love to build his family, he promises to try his best to house his loved ones.
Because he believes "it is the duty of every man to raise the character and tone of his own home... to the highest point his capabilities permit." - Frank Lloyd Wright 1894.
And he knows this is not limited to physicality.

What is with the architect?
He never thinks he can be a thorough architect. Because he thinks architecture is about life. And he could never learn enough thoroughly from life. There is too much to learn from life. He is still far from an architect.
He is not an architect.

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

心中一朵花

伊说
事情的发生,总有其美好的一面。

是的
凡事都有好坏。
在于我们怎么看了。

丑陋的东西在人的眼中太显眼,被提及,被扩大,被恶化,甚至被依赖,因为可以推卸事态。
美好的东西却很难被发现,更难被珍惜。就像
真正的花,开在山野烂漫处。
心,向美。心中开出一朵花,在心房的绿地上,蓝天白云下。
心,放大。舞台变得很大。不只是自己,人人在欢舞。

Monday, January 5, 2009

Hairstyle 髪

最近有人问了我一个挺有趣的问题。我喜欢女生长发,还是短发?
如果有看平面漫画的人,应该可以发觉,漫画里角色的发型都是不变的。现实中,人可是会变的。
我想了想,还是做点功夫。[点击小图看大图] 先用孙燕姿的造型图看看极短的发型。从我认为极限的长度说起。很有个性吧。

接下来,我选择了韩女星---李妍喜。比我年轻,却可以百变。她丰富的造型可塑性展示了长短发都有其美,能撑起不同的场面。

回想起来,以前喜欢或欣赏的女生,似乎都是短发的。可爱。活泼。所以,我喜欢的,应该是短发。再想一想,以前中学时期女生都不能留长发嘛。所以这么说似乎不对。现在觉得,短发会将一些人的五官衬托地更特出。看起来变得很有性格。

中学生涯结束后,许多女生似乎都留了长发。许多人变了很多,变美了,有韵味了。温柔。优雅。所以,我喜欢的,应该是长发。。。也不对。因为也有些人其实让长发给掩去了原来脸部好看的特征而不知觉。或让自己为了保留长发,而失去了尝试,为自己设了一个框。

而做这功课的同时,我突然发现,我很爱女生绑发。不同的绑法造型增添了可塑性,让女生呈现更百变的美。爱美,原是女生天赋的权利。我喜欢女生绑发。。或许是因为自己的审美及偏好。因为绑发,露出女生的耳垂。所以如果我有另一半,或许是很自然地。。。我会想轻言密语。轻轻地吻。远看像是咬耳吧。因为绑发,有时露出女生的后颈。我会想从后环抱,轻轻地亲。

电影《功夫》里黄圣依造型虽然留着长发,许多幕都显示她将发丝梳理在耳后。试比一比,原来[左]与加工后[右]的剧照。个人还是喜欢露耳垂的。

哪。。我是喜欢绑发啦?因为可以让我亲亲嘛?想一想,又好象不全对。因为如果没绑发,轻佻的风如果拨乱了她的头发,我会很自然地想帮她理一理秀发。我喜欢这样的举动。因为那一刻的她,是会有让人窒息的美。将她的头发摆弄好,还是会亲下去。

李妍喜多种造型我都看得赏心悦目。因为我喜欢她。
所以,绑发与不,长发与不,伊人依然,美。
原来,只要我喜欢伊,伊人就是美。伊真的很美嘛。
所以我要深呼吸。因为美会很窒息。

嗯。。嗯。。所以,长短发应该是非常个人的决定,表现自己的品味。发型更可以代表个人的性格。而,不同的尝试变化,也能带出新鲜感。我有时喜欢人家给我雪前一亮的新鲜感。或许因为生活很多时候是周而复始。而尝试的过程中,我们发觉原来有些东西并不适合自己。但因为尝试,我们其实在找寻,所以发现。

发现自己。

[Coincidentally, Shravasti Dhammika has posted a blog regarding Hair lately. Something very different to mine, but i believe there is a little similarity as reflection-- it's not about the hair but the persons.]

Wednesday, December 31, 2008

2008回首

2009新年将即。许多人正准备如何如何庆祝跨年。而没有跟朋友度过的我会在这小小的镇乡自己含蓄倒数。我记得回乡前跟一位同事闲聊跨年的事,他轻松地说了一句话:“It's time to think what you have done for this year.”

简单却不易答。令人醒思。这是很好让自己横冲直撞后停一停脚步,想一想的时间。

庆新年之前,回想这一年。到底我做了什么。

这一年里,我遇见了不少人。努力的人。善良的人。开朗的人。热诚的人。豁达的人。拼命的人。现在想来,他们都是用心活好日子的人。让我自觉,自己做得还不够,所以还要加把劲。感激大家踏入我的圈子。让慧根本来就缺欠的我,因为你们而见识了,长智慧了。谢谢。

对不起。我也做错过事。对不起,我待人处事方面做不好。所以我要变得更好。让我曾经无意伤害的人知道我改善了。我紧记教诲。人生的教诲。

还有,也不忘要对今年没有见面却让我想起的人问候一声,你好吗?


众里寻他千百度,蓦然回首,那人却在灯火阑珊之处
雾里探花百折转,蓦然回首,芬香即在脸颊芳吻之上

因为回首,所以才发现,岁月留痕来往不意间。
也所以惊觉,年轻的心,不能老。要keep咯!
夜晚了,我静悄悄地,在伊的脸上吻了。
晚安。

Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Is there a Santa Claus?

"Yes, there is. He is always in your heart."

If you question is there a Santa Claus, you can read the answer below:
English source: http://www.newseum.org/yesvirginia/
Chinese translation: http://blog.sina.com.cn/s/blog_3ca594d8010000u1.html

It is good to share.
Thanks Boey.

Monday, December 29, 2008

睡梦缘分


我这人爱睡。可以的话,每天希望可以睡上9小时。现在假期的我,更可以‘为所欲为’。但也不爱睡到第二天下午,因为我觉得那太浪费时间了。并不是要更多的时间赚钱还是什么,而是觉得可以用那些时间做些有的没的。觉得灵感会偶尔突然来敲门。我不想伊敲门的时候,我在睡觉。而我在外独居的时候,还要做些闲杂家务。所以昏睡并不是我最爱的。

但我爱睡。因为可以很自由。做梦也很自由。某程度上,我爱自由。除了偏爱右侧入睡,就没有什么法则了。睡着后,自由地踢自由地翻最好。所以,我睡觉不穿内裤。穿越少越好越薄越好越自由越好。男生还是通风的好。夏天的话,就没甚问题。冬天的话,依然,只要躲进棉被就很爽。睡觉就是我最任性的时候。因为梦也可以任性到一个程度。

这两日来,在零约束下,做了奇怪的梦。梦见了同一个女生。我善忘,却不想忘记相遇的点点滴滴。如果我忘了,还希望她会在梦里提醒我。前晚,她出现得亲近,想她是关心郁闷的我。我觉得耳根有点热。昨晚,又遇见了,心情激昂的我,叫了她的名字。叫得有点尴尬有点青涩。。才想起,我似乎常遇见,却还没遇见这熟悉的女生。

我才发现,原来缘分才是最任性的。

A-L

Answer
i am not looking for an answer, i just want to take Action. i am on the move.

Beauty
i love seeing beauty. who doesn't. but i think the most beautiful grows from inside-out. it is sacred.

Calm
i like you staying calm in my arms. i would think i have a babe. and i would say to you.. babe, i love you.

Doubt
i doubt am i sinful to look at Beauty.

Elegance
i have never learned the true Elegance. it is not for me to say because it shines.

Friends
a word that is so close and so far for me. as i have been needing friends. as i have so much yet to learn to be a good friend for my friends.

God
god, and good, are just an 'o' difference. for some, believing in god makes them feel good. for some, having such belief makes them good.

Hump
we slow the cars down when we are near to humps. i like wednesday as it is called the hump day. the toughest was over and the weekend is near.

Intimacy
it is really good to feel that. and you will not be alone in this strangers world. the spirits dance together. the beings hug together.
in.ti.ma.cy. into me (you) see.
and i look at you. we smile.

Juice
it is something childish. kids like fruit juices.
it is something youthful. it feels fresh.
it is something sexy. look at her lips, it is juicy.
it simply signifies life and energy.

Knock
i knock the door. because i feel the urge to learn more knowledge. that is why i need a key.
i knock your door. because i want to live in your heart. that is why i want to see you smile at me.
i knock knock knock.. because i want to remind you.

Love
it consumes itself; and it generates.
it was bound to the moment of its emergence.
it was freed to the moment it is understood.
it is exclusive and inclusive.
do you feel my love?

M-Z

Mute
it must be so odd if you can turn the environment 'mute' of sound when you are in a dancing club. you start reading the lips, comprehending the body gesture, hearing the sound of silence, and witnessing the flow of time.

Nature
is there any authentic nature nowadays? if there is, it should be somewhere deep in our heart.

Odour
i like fragrance. of natural or artificial, as long as it meets the taste. it is sensational. when a boy tell a girl that she smells nice, there is chemistry.

Paper
it is thin. it is the medium to carry my words. and my words carry my feels. but i hate 'paper-cut'. the wound is so thin that you don't really notice, and you feel the pain only until you are done with a task. something tiny does hurt.

Question
i am curious; therefore i ask question. there could be questions for everything. but there are things with no answer, just like sometimes we don't need an answer to fall in love.

Redo
there is actually no such thing, for humans. that is why it has been created as a command in the virtual world of computers. "yesterday is history; today is a gift; tomorrow is a mystery" comes loud as a reminder.

Soul
i am someone who shares the inner easily. but a perfectionist like me is highly selective to share my soul with.

Tense
i pour the whole heart when i love something. and before it is flooded, the air is so stiff so stiff; the clouds are so tense so tense. but i know tension could be lovely.

UV
how smart is it to put these 2 alphabets together. we love sunshine, but we dislike UV. i see her putting on SPF30+ face lotion.

Wounds
we are all vulnerable, because we are subject to wounds. thank you for putting a band-aid so softly on my wound.

X-ray
it is a huge medical contribution. transparency, balances up the efficiency of works. but sometimes beauty lies in the mist of vagueness.

Yawn
you do it; and i will follow you. ops, sorry, i don't mean you are boring, i just reflect the season of lazing around. boss, i am in holiday. mates, follow me, open up wide your arms, stretch your body, and yawn.

Zone
there is no law in gray zone, but uncertainties. i take the sword of bravery, attempting to cross the zone. sometimes, trespassing is granted.

Monday, December 22, 2008

The Late Compliments

Van Gogh_ The Starry Night

A conversation has led me to think of the compliments that come late.

Van Gogh
A Post-impressionism artist that i like very much. I may not know him and his works very well. But i truly like his paintings, especially The Starry Night. His paintings has a very delicate kind of emotion nourishing the atmosphere even on the side of the viewers. I say, he paints beyond his paper. I personally think he is a romantic artist. Not only they are just simply petrifying for me to look at, his works draw the wings of imagination on me. I know i fly to the moment in his paintings. I admire him. If there is a chance for me to see his exhibition, i would love to go for it. If there is an event bringing the effort to collect his works together for exhibition station by station globally, i would like to contribute with even the slightest possible effort.
He died at the age of 37, due to depression.

Heath Ledger
An impressive actor that i think he has done well for the roles he took. I am not his super fans. Nor have i watched all the movies he had taken part in. But he definitely has done extremely well for the character of Joker in the movie-- The Dark Knight. Weeks ago, there were still controversial debates that, on behalf of him, who is qualified to receive the Prize from 2008 Academy Award and Golden Globe Awards. It is respectful how he has deeply dissolved into a role and from within he created a character that stands out.
He died at the age of 28, due to medication abuse, that many believed depression was the main cause.

The compliments to the above mentioned are late.
Gogh's paintings have got famous after his death. Ledger's movies have gained breaking records after his death too. Both of their talents and contributions have been largely recognized and acknowledged. Having said that.. they wouldn't know.
The late compliments thus become very sentimental.

Shall we pay our salute.
And, shall we look into the issue of depression, more closely, and more concernedly.

It seems like geniuses tend to have depression more likely, though i hope this is just a coincidence. Besides, i have family members who are suffering depression and i know the pain to some extents. It drives people to nuts of how helpless it could be at times. My aunt used to tell me to be living more happily, taking less priority on achievements. She was worried i tend to be using too much brain and also following steps into depression. Now, i would like to stand with people around, and live a good life. I have met someone that embraces so much positiveness so spontaneously. I am encouraged. We all should know, the more positive you stay, the more positive the people around will be influenced by you. Happiness is highly contagious, so is melancholy. You are to decide which side of hand you are lending to. And, be grateful to have friends and family who cheer you up, who concern about you. Life is great!

p/s: i love you.

Sunday, December 21, 2008

心动

“我做错过许多事,也欠过许多人,但有一个人是我素昧平生的。那只是偶然的相遇,甚至没有眼神的交集,我却觉得欠他,至今忘不了。”-- 刘墉

我看了这一句,呆了。好象探讨了近来一直徘徊在我心里的想法。我想,缘分的邂逅是奥妙的。相遇,是珍贵的。有缘千里来相聚,无缘对面不相识。向左,向右,看。我,如果在人海中,遇见了。偶然相遇,所以相识。或许的偶然变成或许的唯一,就会想把握。向前,看。我会想握紧缘分,一起向前走。我不想错过。一次,不想错过。更不会有‘第二次,可能还会再来’的念头了。如果这一次对了,我想捉住她的手。

握住她的手,那会是一种承诺。那一刹那前,我会想,我自己好吗?我希望自己好,所以可以好好地待我心爱的人。我知道无法完美,但希望尽可能不再带来伤害。我做错过许多事,也欠过许多人。

我这人太跟感觉走。言行举止不免因此常让人觉得不可思议,或因轻举妄动而显轻浮。也因此留下了许多把柄。有剑刃插在胸口的把柄。有时人家无意不小心牵动了把柄,我独自痛了。成长,我还是不太小心翼翼。因为,不想顾虑着后面的步法,而扰乱了现在想垮出的步伐。

我知道,我充满破绽。我知道,我是任性。可还是不想因,为了预测将来而扭曲了我最初的冲动,原始的感动。我。。想哭就哭。想爱就爱。如果不理智是错的。。哪我继续错下去。。感觉对了,我就出发。。

我会想她的笑话而睡前噗呲一笑。我会想她的回眸一笑而傻笑。我会将路人看错成是她。我觉得这种错,有一种力量。

错,还有一种力量。觉得自己摊在迷漫的零引力空间,却在旋转着。好象不会掉在地上。。。

我不想妳告诉我这是错的。只想请妳,让我握紧妳的手,如果我在人海中找到了妳。也想请妳,牵紧我的手,好让我不到处乱走。请牵紧了,让我们一起走。走着走着。。如果我看到妳眼角挂着泪珠,脸颊上泛着泪光,请让我帮妳拭去眼泪。我希望妳哭着还笑。

错下去,我们一起掉泪,一起欢笑,一起成长。
准备好将妳的手递放在我的掌心上?