Where are you?

http://www.flickr.com/photos/kamoteus/2629498469/

At times
you have my back
you back me up
as if i will have no worries at the backyard
but only courage to move forward

At times
you are at my side
you side me
for whatever i do
justifying rightfulness regardless how stupid it is

At times
you are surrounding me
you stalk me
as if i am a candy
and you are a spoiled little girl

At times
you are in front
i have your back
as if i need to push a little bit
before you fly off to the sky like a timid angel

Some night i woke up in tears from nightmare
wondering where the hell are you
you smile to me
touching my hair gently
kissing my forehead softly
and tell me
that
you are everywhere

Damn
you are stalking me

But no worries
you are no where better
because i am with you
all the time


-Kai-

Earth Hour and beyond

At the night of Earth Hour
light was switched off
the darkness descended
she was dressing up that night

though her name is darkness
and she has been always invisible
but at that very special night
she dressed up so elegantly
or people did for her
regardless
people were witnessing her charm
she stood out
in front of everyone
in the heat of celebration

but

this is actually more than meeting the eyes

*At the night, people turned off the light for an hour. They celebrate it with many ideas. Some drove to mountain to see the night city skyline morphing from luminosity to dullness. Maybe petrol was used more than needed. CO2 was emitted more than usual. And within the hour, the electricity generating factories were still running non-stop. Carbon emission was still enormous. Whatever. Earth Hour is actually not only about switching off light. It is about energy saving, water saving etc. From individual micro scale accumulating up to macro generality. Use less. Reduce demand. Thus stop expanding power generation plants. Reduce our environmental footprint. *

Celebration of the day
with no doubt
became the fastest way to promote the idea
to call for awareness
darkness became a celebrity all of a sudden
people got together for the celebration
some forgot the pure intention
some got to do something even more energy wasting

Earth Hour
a campaign was supposed to evoke sense of responsibility and awareness
how we should keep energy saving on the right track
to the very effort we can do
for the sake of our future
our kids' future

energy saving
is the essence to be listed in to-do for everyday life

sustainable living
is the way to go
and
all these
should be done as a routine with fun

celebrating Earth Hour with fun is a good thing
not forgetting what we should be doing everyday

having fun while doing good
is the ideal
without compromising too much of daily lifestyle awfully

and hopefully sooner
Earth Hour does not need to be celebrated in extravagant ways
if everyone celebrate by saving energy everyday

it will just need to be a remembrance in the future

^__^

60

http://www.flickr.com/photos/earthhour_global/3386185889/
1 hour, without light on, makes us feel the importance of electricity.
60 minutes, without electricity, amaze us how our ancestors have had their nights, at places where unpleasant weather lands.

Clean up the mess that we produce,

Global Warming.
Reduce our carbon emission footprint, to save a little more for our earth, and our coming kids.

p/s: Quit smoking too, people.

Ticket

When the recession smell is a little overwhelming..
When the office air is a little too tense..
When the global warming makes you staying at home..
When the government doesnt issue you a visa..
When you are missing your lover beilliie muchiie..
When you don't know what to do...

maybe, just take your ticket... and enjoy the show...

sometimes.. not all the time..

##
I'm just a little bit
caught in the middle
Life is a maze
and love is a riddle
I don't know where to go
I can't do it alone
(I've tried)
and I don't know why

Slow it down
make it stop
or else my heart is going to pop
'cuz it's too much
Yeah, it's a lot
to be something I'm not

I'm a fool
out of love
'cuz I just can't get enough

I'm just a little bit
caught in the middle
Life is a maze
and love is a riddle
I don't know where to go
I can't do it alone
(I've tried)
and I don't know why

I am just a little girl
lost in the moment
I'm so scared
but don't show it
I can't figure it out
it's bringing me down
I know
I've got to let it go
and just enjoy the show

The sun is hot
in the sky
just like a giant spotlight
The people follow the sign
and synchronize in time
It's a joke
Nobody knows
they've got a ticket to that show
Yeah
##
The Show- Lenka

A very cute song
with a cute tone
a cute mood, facing what you dont know how to deal with
a cute picture illustrated from the cute lyric
from a cute heart

Things appear cute and decent when your heart is taking it cutely, i believe.

Inspiration

I want to love you smartly, thus i am granted wisdom.
I want to kiss you gently, thus i nurture decency.
I don't want to think, but to hug you, thus i am impulsed by pureness.
I live in you, like how you live in me, thus i feel my soul.

I am inspired by you, there comes the creativity, and thus it is happening. So happening.

p/s: Happy 15.03.09

http://www.flickr.com/photos/chasingtwilight/372425816/

白

(http://www.flickr.com/photos/h-k-d/3101206010/)

说到白，这种颜色有一种力量。

而我感觉，伊身上散发的多种色彩里，白色居多。像象征和平白鸽的白。像天使的白。因为伊像个天使。话说，一天伊顽皮，飞到人间，吃到了人间烟火。伊消化不良，结果飞着飞着的时候，从空中掉了下来。犹记得那一天，我举起双手，等待夏日的漫天飘雪。当然，夏天下雪是不可能的。结果，双手抓不到雪，却让伊这胖天使掉在我怀里。现在回想，那一天，天空没有下雪的白。当时眼前却有迷漫的白，天空像满满飘落着，天使翅膀的白色羽毛。这种白色，有一种力量。让人窒息，却感觉不到重量。反是轻飘飘的。

Overlap_ by Audrey Kawasaki

最近有一天，我的同事突然对我说，我长了一根白发。我照了镜子。确实，我长了一根白发。或许，近来压力大。或许，我开始老了。这种白色，有足够的力量，让人停一停脚步。停顿一会儿，想一想，怎么了，最近怎么了。想一想，日子过得好吗？开心吗？劳累吗？也会，想一想，是年龄，还是智慧，还是责任，增加了？想一想，爸妈发丛中的白色也越来越多了。想一想，将来的日子，伊会否帮我暴力拔白发，到后来无可奈何大自然的定律，顺其自然一起白头到老。伊说过，一起变老，是最浪漫的事。对，那种变白的过程，有一种说不出的力量。温柔。醇厚。今天看见一对白发苍苍的老夫妇手牵手慢步，我走路的步伐也放慢了下来。为世间有爱而感动。

(http://www.flickr.com/photos/harogi/1215632154/)

黄昏，是一日里天空大地色彩最丰富的时候。而白，是所有颜色的集合产物。

关于死

关于死

总有一种禁忌，保持着一种距离，不看太多，不想太多。
想是，人开始长大。肩担渐增。才开始会稍微想一想。因为，不想做个不负责任的人。
人开始老了，或许才会事先考虑清楚，更或许一些会事先办理准备。
而我，还只是在想一想的阶段。

如果死，我会希望我对亲爱的家人朋友有所交代。
最亲的人，不想他们伤心太久，要快快收拾好心情，过充实的日子，寻找人生更多的精彩。因为，我觉得世界还有太多太多神奇奥妙精彩处，我没法发觉体会，会希望至亲的人会能体会到。而我在他们的脑海记忆里，他们的心里，一起感受到。我们并不孤独。

如果死，我有点希望我死的当天或第二天就下葬。华人有死后至少三天才有葬礼的习俗，我没有深入了解。因为始终保持着一种距离。我想，那是因为华人孝顺尊重长辈，对死者还依依不舍，还想瞻仰。像是，真正‘临走’（到投胎或九泉之下之类的地方）前，与家人亲友在作最后相聚。对我来说，那是一种很深的悲伤。我或许承受不了。

所以，活在当下。要活得精彩，要珍惜彼此。死后，你我他都没有遗憾。彼此祝福在不同的道路上，一路走好。

如果死，我希望越早下葬越好。因为，我曾经梦见，我在梦里死了，灵魂出魄壳，看到家人在我身躯边伤心哭泣。我也伤心地跟着哭泣，梦醒时发现我枕头尽是自己的眼泪所湿。一位犹太朋友说过，他相信人死后，要尽快下葬，好让灵魂Spirit到神圣的某处，一种解脱。他说，亲友如此做法，其实是对死者的尊敬爱护。因为，如果死者没有及早下葬，其灵魂会在灰色地带徘徊，找不着其定位身份。有一定的道理和感动。华人的传统相信有多少不同。

其实，有点怕怕的我，加上完美主义的我，也不太希望，死后的我，还会让太多人见到。想让大家记得的，是生前真实的我，欢笑的我。人死后，留下了皮囊，还留下了什么。真正的他，对于亲爱的家人戚友，其实本应留在脑海，活在心里。

真正的精神，是永存的，是一起的，是不死的。或者说，根本就没死与生。

就在当下，加油，精彩过一分一秒！*笑*

Absence

"Absence sharpens love
Presence strengthen it" -- David Baird

I am aware that so-called long distance relationship is a hard management.
And there will be more and more unforeseen challenges come against us though we are ready for them as we thought we really are.
But it will be fine going through the journey, as i know i am not alone, and i have belief to hold on, not only by myself. The tie appears stronger.

Absence will actually sharpen my sense, to take note of details ... how to love more beyond the seas and continental border, how to balance not to love my girl too much but not any less for myself as well, how to miss my girl not too heavily but not too lightly, ... All these details help to shape our relationship better, and our own 'single' life better. Love, could be something of anything, consisting of all sweetness, junk, and nuisances. It is about giving away. It needs art of balance.
Here, being apart physically, or Absent, helps to sharpen our love.

And then, when we meet up again, we hug so tightly. We feel the strength. Our bond is strengthened.

一起感受

伊可知道当我昨晚收到越洋祝福的时候

夜空是呈紫蓝
看来似乎像是伊喜欢的颜色
将来的画
请记得尽情地
挥撒伊喜欢的颜色
我们的那幅画
会是灿烂的
家里所以温暖

月亮是很圆很大
我们喜欢的浪漫
却从来没有一起看过
我却知道
将来我们会一起看
年轻的时候
躺在草原上看
年迈的时候
在家的后院看

空中飘着微细的雨
伊喜欢的天气
渺渺的雨
像温柔的纱衣
看着看着
更加肯定
伊是迷路的天使
放心
一路上
我会带伊一起一步步地走
轻快地舞

伊的祝福
我真的收到了
因为我这里看到的天空竟然是
伊喜欢的天空
因伊而美丽的天空
一起飞翔
那风
那空气
那景色
我们一起感受到

我打短短的电话联系
说些生活的琐碎
我看到日偏食
我想 相隔两地看到的 会不一样
我想让伊看见我所看见的
我所以拍了下来
看到一朵白云
我喜欢
想伊也爱白云
所以又拍了下来
我在城里慢步
电车经过发出声音
我也想让伊听到
所以拨电

恋爱
原是无聊的
但是
那无聊可以一起感受
是幸福的
所以感恩

谢谢伊
赐我天使的吻

Together

A relationship is not only about romance.
I know i am on the early romance fringe of a relationship, tasting the sweetness for everything.
Dear, you and i. We, feel so sweet, we feel so hot, we feel so sticky...
But sooner or later you may (or may not, if i could hope so ^_^'') find my words are no longer as sweet, my acts are no longer as romantic..
I know we both will eventually come to a stage where we find the hotness being cold down inevitably, and we start to taste sourness, bitterness, etc.

Nevertheless, i believe we would like to go through all these bit by bit, step by step, side by side, together. Only going through both the good ones and the bad ones, we endure and develop a true relationship that will build us a home. As you have quoted the words of Master ShengYen "Both favourable and unfavourable conditions strengthen us; treat them with equanimity and gratitude." Of course, i believe it. Just like you are a pig, but also an angel. ^0^

Early Romance may always end so transiently like the twilight or the sunset. ^.^''
A relationship also means commitment and care.
A lasting commitment will bring us further to see the beauty of the ugliness. After early romance, we see our problems, we see our weaknesses, and we will be ... Facing it, accepting it, dealing with it, solving it, and loving it. And from within, onwards, we will start to enjoy a more complete form of love, spirit, hotness... and another level kind of romance.
Later then, we may find something totally different, that we have never come across, but so lovely to have braved ourselves to that and be doing that together.
We will find it out, together. ^_^

It is all about words here, for now. But it will be a journey that is so worth we brave ourselves to explore, to feel the joy, the sadness, the sorrow, the excitement, the happiness...
Such a belief will make us move.
And i know i am holding your hand. I am feeling your hand in my hand. ^___^
So, let's move on.

p/s: i love you, my dear.

两小无猜

昨晚看医生。在诊所，等待的时候，看到一对马来友族的小兄妹在嬉戏。不像许多哥哥会玩比较粗鲁暴力的男子气游戏。也让我想起我对妹妹似乎真的不够好，难怪zomo他们不叫我一声‘哥’。哦。。。是了是了，一定是了。汗。。
话说。。。

小哥哥吃力地抱起小妹妹，小小男生似乎觉得抱得起妹妹是莫大的勇气，无穷的力量，帅气的男人。抱了起来，开心地跑。被捧在怀里的妹妹，也呵呵地笑了起来。抱得累了，哥哥放下妹妹。大手捉小手，两人一起开心地跑。跑累了，哥哥的手放在妹妹的肩膀上，妹妹的手放在哥哥的腰上，慢慢地走，依旧呵呵地笑，说着一些我不是很听得懂的孩子气语言。他们俩的一举一动，仿佛像小小的情侣。洋溢的，是纯纯的喜悦。我想起了伊。

走着走着，哥哥的力气恢复了。妹妹笑闹着要抱抱。哥哥又再抱起妹妹，脸上显出微微的骄傲和喜悦，然后奔跑。妹妹轻爽的呵笑声，冲淡了诊所的忧虑气氛，溶化了病容。抱着，跑着，累着，放下。那兄妹重复了好几回同样的把戏。完全没有厌倦。最后，小兄妹都玩得累了。抱着妹妹的哥哥，连人一起跌坐在地上。我有点担心地想趋前。只见，那小兄妹坐在地上，哈哈大笑。我心里笑了起来。我又想起了伊。

是的。喜悦，是自然的，是纯真的，是不会厌倦的。我希望，我和伊，一起欢笑，一起掉泪，一起面对，一起了解，一起拥抱，一起手牵手，一起走我们这非一般的路。

来来。。给我一个高‘5’！！

锁

(src= http://www.flickr.com/photos/jeffrinehart/2041277589/)

我弟发了脾气，我难过了。我爸难过了，我心疼了。妈病了，爸照顾妈。妈病好了，爸照顾弟。我的心被揪得紧紧。
沮丧的时候，我想起了伊。我所以振作起来。

因为伊，我发现了自己，丢掉了自己，让自己重生了。因为伊，我坚强了。

我弟却迷失了自己。

我对他说

你可还记得你以前种种优越的个性，你可还记得你比我勇敢，我比你懦弱。我现在坚强了，你不是应该更坚强吗？
所以，现在你要勇敢面对它，勇敢面对自己。

我相信，凡事，每个人，的好坏，都有。如果可以尽数，是相对平衡的。
我没对你说，人，性本善。我却对你说，好坏充斥，取舍在于一线间，一念之差。当信念持正的时候，人，自然因好而笑。坏，自然因无法作祟而隐去。我们因为坏而认识好，发掘好，珍惜好，发挥好。好坏共存，只要能坦然对待，雨后彩虹后，你会因为好，而对坏感恩。

而你，因为病了，恶魔将坏放大。你忘了自己的好。

所以，你要将自己闭关的锁，给开了。

让你自己，给自己一个机会，找回自己。给大家一个机会，伸出援助。
我伸出的手，不感觉疼酸，只要你会紧紧握住。我会跟你走这大便一般的路。
你将来便会觉得，真正的大便，不过如此。

(src= http://www.flickr.com/photos/nap72/133416988/)

先将自己丢掉

看着伊的文字，我从心底笑了出来。
散发着一种自由的气质。
突然发现，伊，有信念，有想法；没有格局，没有形式。
我感觉到伊的心，让人很容易亲近感觉到伊的心。
伊善良，让我看见了伊舒暖宽阔的心境。
伊是如此美丽。

我看着一面镜子。
我，也有信念，有坚持，还有形式。原来，我自己有个框框。
我自己太有一套。

嗯，看来，我得先将自己丢掉。彻底那种。丢掉所有珈琐。
然后放开。
让那自由的心，油然而生。
因为我也想变帅。笑。

重生后，对伊笑着说：
妳有妳的信念
我有我的坚持
这交汇时互放的光彩
没有硝味
因为彼此坚信的
同是自然的感受
坦诚的交流

爱

What is with the Architect?

(src = http://www.flickr.com/photos/nolifebeforecoffee/124659356/)

Generally, when you hang out with someone who is an architect, do not feel weird that he is always busy looking around. He looks downward into the drainage strips; he looks upward to the ceiling. He uses stupid alien language like authenticity, mezzanine, louvre screen, HVAC [Heating Ventilation and Air Conditioning system], etc. He looks at details, materials, people, buildings, streets, urban corners… totally random they may be. But he may be looking at how people and things proportioning, standing, structuring, connecting, occupying, complimenting, contrasting and intervening each other.

And then, he could just sigh simply for the ridicule failure or the mythical astonishment of how things join, how brilliant talents of some designers endowed, and how shallow himself is. Basically, his eyes are just too keen.

And also, he insists to let something of the background in or out from the photos taken by his camera. He tries to make sure the background and foreground figures fit well into the frame. He tries to capture emotions and light. But he is as not professional as photographer. He is just happy doing that. At times, he is lazy or just snap shots on you with free styles. Because you are good enough to be in his pictures.

And so, you do not need to feel awkward, when he pauses and looks at you. Sometimes he is just too tired after busy looking around. He looks into you. He needs some rest. To rest, is to gain more and to walk further.

At times, he may be just absent minded. He could be brainstorming the ideas that flash through his mind, or just imagining things like how to make a paper stands. At times, his mind could be just as messy as his working desk. At times, he may be suddenly clear, just like his favor tracing papers that he uses topping layers of drawing complexities.

What is with the architect?
He has preference of taste. He insists, he sculpts, he does not care the rest.
He has his passion for life. He sees, he loves, he constructs.
When he feels the love to build his family, he promises to try his best to house his loved ones.
Because he believes "it is the duty of every man to raise the character and tone of his own home... to the highest point his capabilities permit." - Frank Lloyd Wright 1894.
And he knows this is not limited to physicality.

What is with the architect?
He never thinks he can be a thorough architect. Because he thinks architecture is about life. And he could never learn enough thoroughly from life. There is too much to learn from life. He is still far from an architect.
He is not an architect.

(src= http://www.flickr.com/photos/digianalogue/98555410/)

心中一朵花

伊说
事情的发生，总有其美好的一面。

是的
凡事都有好坏。

在于我们怎么看了。

丑陋的东西在人的眼中太显眼，被提及，被扩大，被恶化，甚至被依赖，因为可以推卸事态。
美好的东西却很难被发现，更难被珍惜。就像真正的花，开在山野烂漫处。
心，向美。心中开出一朵花，在心房的绿地上，蓝天白云下。
心，放大。舞台变得很大。不只是自己，人人在欢舞。

Hairstyle 髪

最近有人问了我一个挺有趣的问题。我喜欢女生长发，还是短发？
如果有看平面漫画的人，应该可以发觉，漫画里角色的发型都是不变的。现实中，人可是会变的。
我想了想，还是做点功夫。[点击小图看大图] 先用孙燕姿的造型图看看极短的发型。从我认为极限的长度说起。很有个性吧。

接下来，我选择了韩女星---李妍喜。比我年轻，却可以百变。她丰富的造型可塑性展示了长短发都有其美，能撑起不同的场面。

回想起来，以前喜欢或欣赏的女生，似乎都是短发的。可爱。活泼。所以，我喜欢的，应该是短发。再想一想，以前中学时期女生都不能留长发嘛。所以这么说似乎不对。现在觉得，短发会将一些人的五官衬托地更特出。看起来变得很有性格。

中学生涯结束后，许多女生似乎都留了长发。许多人变了很多，变美了，有韵味了。温柔。优雅。所以，我喜欢的，应该是长发。。。也不对。因为也有些人其实让长发给掩去了原来脸部好看的特征而不知觉。或让自己为了保留长发，而失去了尝试，为自己设了一个框。

而做这功课的同时，我突然发现，我很爱女生绑发。不同的绑法造型增添了可塑性，让女生呈现更百变的美。爱美，原是女生天赋的权利。我喜欢女生绑发。。或许是因为自己的审美及偏好。因为绑发，露出女生的耳垂。所以如果我有另一半，或许是很自然地。。。我会想轻言密语。轻轻地吻。远看像是咬耳吧。因为绑发，有时露出女生的后颈。我会想从后环抱，轻轻地亲。

电影《功夫》里黄圣依造型虽然留着长发，许多幕都显示她将发丝梳理在耳后。试比一比，原来[左]与加工后[右]的剧照。个人还是喜欢露耳垂的。

哪。。我是喜欢绑发啦？因为可以让我亲亲嘛？想一想，又好象不全对。因为如果没绑发，轻佻的风如果拨乱了她的头发，我会很自然地想帮她理一理秀发。我喜欢这样的举动。因为那一刻的她，是会有让人窒息的美。将她的头发摆弄好，还是会亲下去。

李妍喜多种造型我都看得赏心悦目。因为我喜欢她。
所以，绑发与不，长发与不，伊人依然，美。
原来，只要我喜欢伊，伊人就是美。伊真的很美嘛。
所以我要深呼吸。因为美会很窒息。

嗯。。嗯。。所以，长短发应该是非常个人的决定，表现自己的品味。发型更可以代表个人的性格。而，不同的尝试变化，也能带出新鲜感。我有时喜欢人家给我雪前一亮的新鲜感。或许因为生活很多时候是周而复始。而尝试的过程中，我们发觉原来有些东西并不适合自己。但因为尝试，我们其实在找寻，所以发现。

发现自己。

[Coincidentally, Shravasti Dhammika has posted a blog regarding Hair lately. Something very different to mine, but i believe there is a little similarity as reflection-- it's not about the hair but the persons.]